Micro Wedding Guest List Rules and Who to Invite First

A micro wedding guest list works when you fix the number first and then fill it in order: immediate family, their partners and children, your closest friends, then everyone else as space allows. Apply the same rules to both sides, decide on plus ones and children before you write a name, and keep the list in one place, such as the guest list in Wonderland Studio, so both of you can see the count.

Key takeaways

Set the number before you write a single name.
Fill the list in order, starting with immediate family on both sides.
Use one rule for both families, for plus ones and for children.
Tell the people you leave off early and kindly, with a call or a message from you.

How many guests can a micro wedding have?

A micro wedding usually has fewer than 50 guests. Under about 15, you are closer to an elopement, which is the range wedding planner Emma Thurgood gives for one. Our guide to what a micro wedding is covers how the size changes the day.

Your number will come from your venue and budget more than from the names, so check what the rooms you like can seat before you start the list. Our breakdown of what a micro wedding costs shows how much each extra guest adds.

Who to invite first: the order that works

Family and close friends sharing a candlelit dinner around a small table | Wedded Wonderland

Photo: Enes Çelik (Pexels)

Fill the list in this order, and stop when you reach your number.

Immediate family: Parents, grandparents, siblings and any children of your own.
Their partners and children: Step-parents, siblings' partners, nieces and nephews.
Your closest friends:The people you would call first with news, with long-term partners if your plus-one rule allows it.
Extended family: Aunts, uncles and cousins, starting with the ones you see most.
Other friends: Old friends you still see, and newer friends who have become close.
Colleagues: Last, and only those who are friends outside work.

If you run out of places in the middle of a group, stop at the group before it. That is how you avoid inviting one aunt and leaving off her sister.

Rules that keep the list fair

Use the same rule for both families. If one side has twice as many relatives, agree how to split the places before you start, by equal numbers or by closeness.
Decide on plus ones once. Married and long-term partners only, or no plus ones at all. Write the rule down and apply it to everyone.
Decide on children once. Your own children and nieces and nephews only, or no children at all.
Invite a whole group or none of it. If you can't invite every cousin, invite none, unless one is clearly closer than the rest.
Skip the B-list. At a micro wedding, everyone can tell who was asked second.

Questions to ask before you add a name

Run each name past these four questions. If the answer to two or more is no, leave the name off.

Have we both met this person?
Have we seen them in the last year?
Would we invite them to dinner at home?
Will they still be in our lives in five years?

Inviting someone because you went to their wedding, or because they work with you, is not a reason on its own.

How to tell people they aren't invited

Tell the people you are leaving off early, before invitations arrive or photos appear online. A phone call or a message from you lands better than hearing it from someone else.

Keep it short and give the size of the day as the reason. For example: "We're having a very small wedding, just immediate family and a few close friends, so we're keeping the guest list tiny. We'd love to celebrate with you afterwards." If you plan a larger party later, say so and give a rough date.

Keeping track of a short guest list

A short list leaves little room for error, so keep it in one shared place from the start. The guest list in Wonderland Studio collects RSVPs, plus ones and dietary notes in one list you and your partner can both open, and it is free to start. If you prefer a spreadsheet, our wedding guest list template works for any size.

Choosing a venue for your number

With the number settled, look for a venue that suits it rather than one built for 150. A private dining room, a villa or a gallery feels full with 25 people. Our venue directory lets you filter rooms by capacity and setting.

If you would rather hand the planning over, Wedded Concierge finds a venue that fits your guest count and books the suppliers around it, in Australia or overseas.

Wedded Concierge

Got the number? We'll find the room.

Send us your guest count and where you'd like to marry. Wedded Concierge shortlists rooms that seat exactly that many, from private dining rooms to villas, and arranges the day around the one you choose.

Plan with Wedded Concierge →

FAQs

Is it rude not to invite family to a micro wedding?

No, as long as you apply the same rule to everyone and tell people early. A reason about the size of the day is easier to accept than one that seems to be about the person. Leaving off one cousin while inviting another is what causes hurt, so draw the line between groups rather than through them.

Do you have to give plus ones at a micro wedding?

No. You can limit plus ones to married and long-term partners, or leave them out altogether. Choose one rule, write it on the invitation by naming exactly who is invited, and apply it to every guest. One rule for everyone is easier to explain than exceptions for particular friends.

Should you invite children to a micro wedding?

That is your call, but decide it once for the whole list. Common rules are your own children only, immediate family's children only, or no children at all. If children are coming, count them in the guest number from the start, since a table for 25 fills quickly when every couple brings two.

Can you have a bigger party for everyone else later?

Yes. A relaxed party or dinner a few weeks or months after the wedding lets you celebrate with the people who weren't at the ceremony. Mention it when you tell them they aren't invited to the wedding itself, so they know they haven't been forgotten.