Your wedding vows were promises about a future you hadn't lived yet. Vow renewal vows can be about the one you have: the house that flooded, the job you left, the child who kept you up for two years. Start from the reason you're renewing, because that decides what your vows need to say.
People renew for a handful of reasons: a big anniversary, getting through a hard time, a fresh start after a rough patch, or wanting the ceremony they didn't get the first time, because parents, a religion they didn't practise or a ten-minute registry office service shaped the original.
Find your reason below. The vows under it are written to be changed: swap in your own names, places and years.
Short enough to say without notes:
"Ten years ago I didn't know how you take your coffee, or that you sing in the car when you think nobody's listening. Now I know both, and a thousand other things, and I'd marry you all over again."
"Twenty-five years, three houses and one very old dog. We've been broke, we've been tired, and once we were lost in Rome for an entire afternoon. You made all of it feel like an adventure. I promised you forever when we were too young to know what it meant. I know now, and I'm promising it again."
For a golden anniversary, keep it plain:
"Fifty years ago you took my hand in front of our families. You haven't let go since. Thank you for a whole life."
These carry the most weight in a renewal, because they say what wedding vows can't. Name the hard part, briefly, then turn to what comes next.
"When the doctors gave us the news, you didn't flinch. You drove me to every appointment, you learned the names of every nurse and you made me laugh in waiting rooms. In sickness and in health was a line we said without thinking. You lived it. I promise to spend the healthy years making it up to you."
"We both know there was a year we almost walked away. We didn't. We did the slow, unglamorous work of finding each other again, and I'm prouder of that than of anything else we've done. I'm choosing you again today, with my eyes open."
"When we married, it was the two of us and a rented flat. Now look around: [children's names] are standing here because of us. Everything I love most started with you saying yes."
Give older children their own line after the couple's vows: "We promise to keep reminding you how lucky you are to have each other, and to keep the noise down on Sunday mornings." Let them write it if they're old enough.
"Our wedding took twelve minutes and we had to borrow a witness from the waiting room. I wouldn't change it, because it got me you. But today, with everyone we love here, I want to say it properly: you are the best decision I've ever made."
"I couldn't afford a ring on our wedding day, and you never once mentioned it. This one is [number] years late. Wear it knowing I'd have bought you the moon if I could."
Funny vows work when the joke belongs to your marriage and the last line is sincere.
"I promise to stop rearranging the dishwasher after you've loaded it. I promise to pretend I don't notice when you finish my chips. And I promise that whatever happens, you'll never have to do any of it alone."
"You still steal the blankets. I still leave the cupboard doors open. We're still here. Let's keep going."
Officiant: "[Name], do you choose [name] again, knowing everything you know now?" Each partner answers: "I do. I choose you again, for all the years we have left."
Photo: Josh Withers (Pexels)
A renewal shouldn't simply repeat your wedding day. For the basics of structure and delivery, see our guide to writing wedding vows.
Read the vows aloud before the day, and agree a rough length with your partner so neither of you reads a full page to the other's three lines.
Add one of these symbolic acts to the ceremony:
Rings: swap your original rings, re-dedicate them, or add an eternity band.
Handfasting: your hands are tied together with cord or ribbon. You can include your children's hands too.
Unity candle or sand blending: two candles light one, or two colours of sand are poured into one jar. Children can add a colour of their own.
A quaich: a Scottish two-handled cup you both drink from.
Children can also receive a bracelet or a small ring during the ring exchange.
A celebrant, a close friend or one of your children can lead.
Welcome: "We're here to celebrate [names] and [number] years of marriage, and to hear them make their promises again."
A story about the couple: the person leading, or a friend, shares a memory of the couple. Grandchildren can write and read a short piece for the couple.
The vows: each partner reads theirs, or answers the officiant's question.
The ritual: rings, handfasting or another act from the list above.
Closing: "[Names], still married and still choosing each other."
For fuller wording, American Marriage Ministries publishes free vow renewal ceremony scripts you can adapt.
You might renew on a beach with only a celebrant watching, in the church where you married, in your back garden or somewhere you've always wanted to go. Our guides cover vow renewal etiquette, ideas for a 15th anniversary renewal, international places to renew your vows and 50th wedding anniversary ideas.
Written by
Senior SEO Specialist, Wedded Wonderland
Mark Tuason is the Senior SEO Specialist at Wedded Wonderland, where he writes and refreshes the brand's guides to destination weddings and cultural wedding traditions. He starts with the questions couples search for, checks the answers against trusted sources, and shapes each guide to help them plan, compare and book with confidence. Based in the Philippines, he specialises in content strategy and on-page SEO.
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