A good wedding speech is short, about the couple and planned in advance. At an Australian reception, the father of the bride, the groom and the best man traditionally speak, usually after the main course, with the MC introducing each speaker. Keep each speech to about five minutes, built around one story, and end with a toast to the couple.
Bridebook, the wedding planning platform, says speeches are traditionally given by the father of the bride, the groom and the best man, and that you can ask anyone you like to speak. You can add the maid of honour, the mother of the bride, a close friend, or speak together as a couple.
If you are the couple, decide the list early and tell each speaker how long they have. Gabbinbar, an Australian wedding venue, recommends making sure everyone giving a speech knows their time. Each extra speaker adds up to five minutes, so keep the list short.
If you have been asked to speak, ask the couple three things: how long you have, where you sit in the order, and whether there is anything they would rather you did not mention.
Gabbinbar sets out the traditional order at an Australian reception:
You do not need all seven. Choose the speakers who matter to you and keep the order logical: hosts first, then the couple, then the wedding party.
Bridebook says speeches usually follow the main course and come before dessert. At a sit-down dinner, Gabbinbar suggests the host's welcome between the entrée and the main, with the remaining speeches during or after the main course, finishing with the cake cutting.
At a cocktail reception, run the speeches in one block once most guests have arrived and have a drink in hand, and make sure there is a microphone, because a standing crowd is harder to talk over. In both formats, the MC keeps the speeches moving. Our guide to choosing your MC covers what to look for.
Five minutes at most. Dee Salmin, a triple j presenter, told Fashion Journal that five minutes is the maximum, and that a speech only needs one memory, story or reflection about the couple. Bridebook puts the whole block of speeches at about 30 minutes of the reception.
Time yourself reading the speech out loud at a calm pace. If it runs over five minutes, cut a story rather than speaking faster.
Dee Salmin's structure is a clear beginning, middle and end: a hook to open, a story that builds to a turn or a punchline in the middle, and a heartfelt line or a memorable quote to close. She also suggests a callback, a detail from the opening that comes back at the end and ties the speech together.
Make it about the couple. Salmin warns that personal in-jokes alienate the room, and that the speech should focus on the couple and what they mean to you. Tell one story the whole room can follow instead of a list of compliments.
Open by introducing yourself and how you know the couple, because half the room may not know you. Bridebook suggests thanking the guests early and closing by asking everyone to raise their glasses to the couple.
For examples, see seven wedding speeches that prove personal always wins.
Swap in your own names and details, keep the lines that sound like you, and drop the rest.
To open:
To move into your story:
To close:
Practise out loud, more than once, and in front of someone who will tell you the truth. Salmin's advice for the day is to take three deep breaths before you start, speak slower than feels natural, pause often and look around the room.
Read from your phone or from cards. Salmin suggests a phone, because paper shakes when your hands are nervous. Whichever you use, make the text large enough to read without leaning in.
Keep the drinks for after. Speak before you have had more than one, and hand the microphone back to the MC when you finish, so the next speaker is not left waiting.
Use these as a starting shape. Swap in your own names, stories and details, and keep each to about five minutes when spoken. For a fuller guide to the father's and groom's speeches, see our guide for grooms and fathers, and for the maid of honour, our maid of honour speech steps.
"Good evening, everyone. I'm David, Sophie's dad, and on behalf of our family, thank you for being here. A special thank you to Tom's parents, Anne and Richard, for welcoming us so warmly. When Sophie was seven, she announced she would only marry someone who could beat her at chess.
"Tom, I'm told you lost every game for a year and kept asking for a rematch. That patience is exactly what she needed. Tom, welcome to the family. Please raise your glasses to Sophie and Tom."
"Thank you all for coming, some of you from the other side of the world. Mum and Dad, Anne and Richard, thank you for everything that got us to today, including the parts we didn't notice at the time. To our bridesmaids and groomsmen, thank you for the planning, the patience and the playlist.
"And to Tom: I knew on our second date, when you missed the last train home so I wouldn't walk to mine alone. I'd choose you again tomorrow. Please raise your glasses to our families and friends."
"Hi, everyone. I'm James, and I've known Tom since we were eleven, which means I have a lot of material and a short time to use it. I'll pick one story.
"The week Tom met Sophie, he called me to ask what to cook for someone who 'clearly knows food'. He made pasta.
"He burned the pasta. She ate it anyway and asked him out again. Sophie, thank you for seeing past the pasta. Please raise your glasses to the bride and groom."
"Hello, everyone. I'm Grace, Sophie's best friend since our first day of uni, when she lent me a pen and never got it back. Sophie is the person who remembers your birthday, your coffee order and the name of your childhood dog.
"Tom, I watched her light up talking about you before I'd even met you, and now I understand why. Look after each other the way you've both looked after the rest of us. Please raise your glasses to Sophie and Tom."
"Good evening. I'm Helen, Sophie's mum. Watching Sophie walk down the aisle today, I thought about the little girl who used to plan our family holidays on the back of a cereal box. She has always known where she wanted to go.
"Tom, thank you for making her laugh the way you do. To both of you: be kind, be curious, and never stop planning the next trip together. Please join me in raising your glasses to Sophie and Tom."
Written by
Senior SEO Specialist, Wedded Wonderland
Mark Tuason is the Senior SEO Specialist at Wedded Wonderland, where he writes and refreshes the brand's guides to destination weddings and cultural wedding traditions. He starts with the questions couples search for, checks the answers against trusted sources, and shapes each guide to help them plan, compare and book with confidence. Based in the Philippines, he specialises in content strategy and on-page SEO.
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