The Catholic wedding vows in the current US and Australian books begin with the bridegroom: “I, N., take you, N., to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honour you all the days of my life.” The bride then says the same words to him, with “husband”. England and Wales use different words, given in full below.
The Church calls these words the consent, and vows you write yourselves can’t replace them, so your own words go elsewhere in the day.
The rite is for a man and a woman (canon 1057). For two brides or two grooms, or a ceremony outside the Church, our guide to traditional wedding vows gives a non-religious, gender-neutral version.
Each form here comes from the 2013 ICEL translation of The Order of Celebrating Matrimony, with the Australian “honour” (the US book prints “honor”). The bridegroom always speaks first, then the bride (OCM 62).
You join right hands and each say the whole sentence, from memory, from a card or after the priest.
“I, N., take you, N., to be my wife (husband). I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honour you all the days of my life.”
“I promise to be true to you” belongs to the earlier Rite of Marriage, as Liturgy Brisbane prints it; the current text says “faithful”.
“I, N., take you, N., for my lawful wife (husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.”
The priest may ask for your consent as questions “if it seems preferable for pastoral reasons” (OCM 63). If you want to say the sentence yourselves, ask for the declaration.
“N., do you take N., to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honour her all the days of your life?”
The bridegroom answers “I do”, then the bride is asked the same. The “to have and to hold” wording can be asked this way too.
“The consent of the parties, legitimately manifested between persons qualified by law, makes marriage” (canon 1057). You marry each other, and the priest or deacon receives your consent in the name of the Church (canon 1108). No one, “even if he be a priest”, may change the liturgy (Sacrosanctum Concilium 22). A bishops’ conference can adapt the words for its country (OCM 41).
After the homily, everyone stands, your witnesses come close and the priest speaks to you before the questions (OCM 59).
Each of you answers separately (For Your Marriage).
“N. and N., have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?” Each of you answers “I have.”
“Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?” Each of you answers “I am.”
“Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?” Each of you answers “I am.”
The priest may leave out the third question where circumstances suggest it, for example “if the couple are advanced in years” (OCM 60).
The priest says “Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands and declare your consent before God and his Church” (OCM 61). You say the form you chose, and he receives it with one of two prayers (OCM 64), the first ending “What God joins together, let no one put asunder.” He then says “Let us bless the Lord”, and all answer “Thanks be to God” (OCM 65).
The usual blessing is “May the Lord bless these rings, which you will give to each other as a sign of love and fidelity” (OCM 66). Placing the ring on each other’s finger, husband first, you each say the same words (OCM 67A).
“N., receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
For civil and other faiths’ ring words, see ring exchange wording.
Your vows come after the readings and the homily, whether or not you marry within Mass. For timing the rest of the day, see how long a wedding ceremony runs.
To choose readings, see which readings work at a wedding.
A wedding within Mass typically takes 45 to 90 minutes, one parish says, and runs in this order:
The Universal Prayer leads straight to the Lord’s Prayer, the Nuptial Blessing and the final blessing, and the same parish gives twenty minutes to an hour. Where one of you, or many of your guests, isn’t Catholic, a parish preparation booklet suggests this form, since Communion can then become “a sign of separation”.
Here the rite without Mass “should be used”, and a Nuptial Mass needs the local bishop’s consent (OCM 36). The marriage needs express permission (canon 1124). Only the Catholic partner promises to do all in their power to have children baptised and raised Catholic, and the other partner is told of that promise (canon 1125).
Not in place of the consent. You choose an approved form with your priest (OCM 29), and he can’t rewrite it. Your own words go here instead:
The readings: You choose them with your priest, and at least one must speak of marriage. Family or friends who read well may proclaim those before the Gospel, and your story can shape the homily.
The Universal Prayer: Parish booklets give sample intentions and ask you to write your own.
A letter that morning: Written privately and read before you walk in.
The reception: A toast, or a few lines to each other at dinner.
A personal promise at the altar after the rings isn’t part of the rite, so ask your priest before you plan one.
Work through these in order:
Since 2016, only a priest, not a deacon, validly assists where either of you belongs to an Eastern Church (canon 1108 §3). The rite differs too. In the Maronite crowning, garlands crown the couple and witnesses, and the priest lays your joined hands on the Scriptures under his stole (Eparchy of Saint Maron). Ask your Eastern Church’s eparchy before you choose a priest, a church or a rite.
Raise it at the first meeting. A civil divorce doesn’t settle it for the Church, which first needs the earlier marriage’s nullity or dissolution “established legitimately and certainly” (canon 1085). A Church tribunal hears the case, and canon law asks it to finish at first instance within a year (canon 1453), so start before you set a date. A finding of nullity leaves children of the earlier marriage legitimate where at least one spouse entered it in good faith (canons 1061 and 1137).
Anywhere not covered here, ask your parish which civil step applies.
The US edition has been obligatory since 30 December 2016 (USCCB decree), and For Your Marriage prints all four consent forms. US parishes may add the arras (coins) and a lazo or veil (OCM 67B and 71B).
New York law sets no form of words, only that you declare before the priest and at least one other witness that you “take each other as spouses” (DRL 12), which the consent does.
The Order of Celebrating Matrimony New Edition, approved by the Australian bishops, carries the same words in Australian spelling. Parish booklets vary, and one prints the “to have and to hold” form without “to love and to cherish”, and gives ring words without the Trinitarian ending where one of you is not Christian. Check your booklet against the priest’s book before anything goes to print.
Your priest is the authorised celebrant, and the Marriage Act accepts “any form and ceremony recognised as sufficient” by a minister’s church (section 45), so the Catholic consent is your legal vow. As the Catholic Church is a recognised denomination, he doesn’t say the monitum a civil celebrant must (section 46). Two witnesses who are, or appear to be, over 18 must be present (section 44).
Lodge your Notice of Intended Marriage with your priest no earlier than 18 months and no later than one month before the wedding (Attorney-General’s Department). Afterwards, order the official certificate from your state’s Births, Deaths and Marriages registry, since the one signed on the day can’t change your name.
Before the consent, each of you makes a Civil Declaration of Freedom with full names, such as “Are you, A.B., free lawfully to marry C.D.?” (Liturgy Office). The second question also changes: “N., are you resolved to take N. to be your wife: to love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others, to be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”
The consent follows, again with names and surnames: “I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, A.B., do take thee, C.D., to be my lawful wedded wife”, or “I, A.B., take you (thee), C.D., to be my wedded wife”. Each continues “to have and to hold” and ends “till death do us part”. Read them from the Liturgy Office speaking card or repeat them after the priest.
The law requires the declaration and these contracting words, in full or in their shorter forms, in a registered building (Marriage Act 1949); the questions and prayers come from the Church. The book also offers its own ring words: “N., I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage: with my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you”.
An authorised person, such as a religious minister, must attend and sign the marriage schedule; if the church has none, you book a registrar (GOV.UK).
Anywhere abroad, a priest from home needs delegation from the local parish priest or bishop (canon 1108), and a garden or villa needs the bishop’s permission (canon 1118).
In Italy, a Catholic wedding counts civilly from the celebration, and straight after the rite the priest reads the Civil Code articles on spouses’ rights and duties (1984 agreement, Article 8), so tell guests the reading follows the rite. Our guide to civil, Catholic and symbolic ceremonies in Italy compares the three, and the complete legal guide to getting married in Italy covers the documents.
Print the consent and ring words with the ICEL copyright line that parish booklets carry, and ask whether your parish’s permission covers your print run. Our guide to what goes in the order of service covers the rest of the page.
For a second language, such as Arabic, ask for the approved text and have a fluent speaker check the proof. Confirm early which language your priest will receive the consent in.
Give guests one plain line on the first page: “The couple marry one another; the priest receives their consent on behalf of the Church.” At a Nuptial Mass, guests who aren’t Catholic ordinarily don’t receive Communion, and the USCCB guidelines invite them to pray instead.
Your parish leads the rite and its paperwork, and the day around it is ours to plan. Through Wedded Concierge, your Wedded Advisor sources the reception venue, negotiates with your suppliers and builds the timeline around the church’s times. If you would rather book suppliers yourself, Wedded Marketplace lists photographers, florists and musicians.
Written by
Content and Creative Manager | Wonder Group
Joseph Joshua is the SEO & Content Manager at Wedded Wonderland, bringing an editorial and search strategy perspective to the publication’s coverage of luxury weddings, destination celebrations and bridal lifestyle. His approach to content centres on helping readers move from inspiration to informed decisions, with attention to the design, craftsmanship and personal details that give a celebration its character.
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