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From the betrothal gifts to the tea ceremony, here are 12 Chinese wedding customs in the order they happen, plus what Australians need to know before celebrating in China.
In a Chinese family, wedding traditions follow a sequence, from betrothal gifts to a candlelit hair-combing, door games and the tea ceremony. This Wedded Wonderland guide walks through each one in wedding order. It also covers what Australians need to know about celebrating in China or bringing the rites home. It sits alongside our guide to Indonesian wedding traditions.
There is no single Chinese wedding. Customs vary by dialect group: Cantonese and Teochew families, for example, give different betrothal gifts, and Teochew families hold the door games before sunrise.
This guide draws on Singapore's National Heritage Board and National Library Board, which document Chinese wedding customs in detail. As the Library Board notes, even as couples simplify the day, a wedding is often not considered complete until the customary rites are performed.
Long before the wedding day, the two families begin a series of exchanges. These start with a classical framework of rites, then the betrothal gifts and the choice of a lucky date.
The classical framework for a Chinese marriage is the Three Covenants and Six Rites. According to the Chinese Historical and Cultural Project, three ancient texts set them out: the Book of Rites, the Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial and the Baihu Tong. Together, they were considered necessary elements of a marriage.
In Singapore today, matching horoscopes and hiring professional matchmakers are rarely practised, but the betrothal gifts are still observed.
Most Chinese weddings in Singapore begin with guo da li, the betrothal ceremony. Singapore's National Heritage Board places it two to four weeks before the wedding, on an auspicious day, when the groom and a female relative bring gifts to the bride's family.
Each gift carries a meaning: mandarin oranges for good luck and charcoal for a good life after marriage. The gifts also differ by dialect group. In Singapore, Teochew gifts typically include peanut-sesame candy wrapped in red paper, while Cantonese families send seafood such as sea cucumber, abalone, scallop, dried shrimp, oyster, mushroom and fish maw.
Some items are shared across dialect groups. Two pairs of red dragon and phoenix candles are common to all of them, and the groom's parents give the bride dragon and phoenix bangles (Cantonese) or si dian jin, four pieces of gold jewellery (Teochew).
The exchange runs both ways. The bride's family returns some of the gifts (hui li) to symbolise its acceptance of the marriage and presents a second set to the groom's family, and the bride receives her trousseau (jia zhuang).
Agree early with both families which gifts each side will bring, who will carry them and on which date.
Traditionally, a fortune teller sets the date, reading the couple's birth dates and hours against the Chinese almanac; working it out yourself is considered bad form. In Singapore, the betrothal date is usually chosen from the tongshu, the Chinese almanac.
Book early. In Singapore, hotel function rooms tend to be fully booked on auspicious dates.
In Singapore, the matrimonial bed is prepared (an chuang) three days to one week ahead, and on the wedding day a young boy jumps and rolls on it to bless the couple with children. Then come two of the most personal rites: the hair-combing at home and the door games on the morning itself.
On the night before the wedding, both families hold shang tou, a hair-combing ritual that marks the couple's transition into adulthood. Singapore's National Heritage Board describes the bride and the groom, each in their own home, facing a pair of lighted candles while a woman of good fortune combs their hair four times, repeating an auspicious phrase with each stroke.
Traditionally a Cantonese custom, shang tou is also practised by other dialect groups in Singapore. The parents or a happily married elder female relative hold the comb, and afterwards the bride and groom eat a bowl of glutinous rice balls.
Decide early who will hold the comb: a parent or a happily married elder relative.
The groom does not walk straight in. The bridesmaids set him and his groomsmen a series of playful tasks, known in Singapore as "gatecrashing". The bride's female friends and relatives, the jie mei or "sisters", demand a red packet with an amount that includes the number nine, the groom's companions haggle over it, and the groom must declare his love in inventive ways.
The bride's father places the bridal veil on his daughter's head to mark her coming of age.
Timing matters. Teochew families believe the bride should leave home before sunrise, so they hold the door games very early in the morning, according to a Singapore wedding planner quoted by the Heritage Board. If either family is Teochew, plan for hair and make-up in the small hours.
In Singapore, the first tea ceremony takes place at the groom's home. Where the family worships deities and ancestors at home, the couple first pray at the family altar, then serve tea to the elders, who give their blessings.
The tea ceremony officially recognises the couple as husband and wife after the "three bows": to heaven and earth, to parents, and to each other. The tea is brewed with lotus seeds, two red dates and two longans.
Tea is offered first to the gods, then to the groom's ancestors, then to the groom's parents, then to senior family members and other relatives. Those being served sit, while the couple kneel, or bow, and offer the cup with both hands. Each person served gives the couple a red packet or a piece of jewellery.
The bride's family has its own sitting. The couple hold a separate tea ceremony at the bride's house, after she changes into a kua, a red wedding dress embroidered with auspicious symbols.
That means two ceremonies on one day, with travel between homes. Agree the list of elders in advance, and set out a cushion for kneeling.
In 2022, UNESCO inscribed traditional tea processing techniques and associated social practices in China on its Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity, recognising tea as part of ceremonies such as weddings.
A few symbols appear again and again at Chinese weddings, from the envelopes to the bride's gown. Here is what museum and heritage collections say about each one.
Red is the primary colour of traditional Chinese wedding ceremonies, as the V&A notes in its record of a pair of red satin bridal shoes. The double happiness character (shuang xi) is the special character for marital happiness.
Paper-cuts carry the same motifs. UNESCO's listing for Chinese paper-cut, inscribed in 2009, names weddings among the festivities paper-cuts are made for.
In the V&A's account, the dragon represents the male and the phoenix the female. Placed side by side, they symbolise the perfect balance of yin and yang between bride and groom.
A Chinese bride's wardrobe centres on red. Traditional red ensembles are still worn for the rites and the banquet, even where a white gown is chosen for the ceremony.
The V&A describes the bride's matching red jacket and skirt, popularly known as hong gua ("red gown") and sometimes qun kwa. Its design is still led by the dragon and phoenix, often worked in couched metal threads that cover the satin. In Singapore, the bride changes into a kua, a red dress embroidered with auspicious symbols, before the tea ceremony at her family's house.
White wedding dresses are popular today, but traditional bridal ensembles are still worn for rituals in front of parents and ancestors and during the wedding banquet.
Outfit changes are part of the day. One bride whose kua is held by the National Museum of Singapore wore three outfits on her wedding day, changing into a red cheongsam during the banquet. If you plan more than one outfit, build the changes into the run sheet. For more on the colour itself, read why Chinese brides wear red.
After the rites, the celebration moves to the banquet. Red envelopes appear throughout the day, from the bride's door to the tea ceremony.
The wedding banquet brings both families and their guests together to celebrate the marriage. It is one of the moments when traditional bridal ensembles are still worn, even by brides who choose a white gown for the ceremony.
Plan the menu with the elders of both families, so the dishes reflect the customs they keep.
Lucky red envelopes are called hong bao in Mandarin and lai see in Cantonese. The British Museum holds one printed in gold with a large double happiness character and the words "Wedding Invitation".
At a wedding, they change hands at the bride's door, where the jie mei demand one from the groom, and at the tea ceremony, where each elder served gives the couple a red packet or jewellery.
The rites continue after the banquet with the bride's return to her family home. In Singapore today, this visit has moved to the wedding day itself.
Traditionally, the couple visited the bride's family home three days after the wedding, where she was received as a guest. The National Museum of Singapore records this as san zhao hui men, the bride's return home with the groom on the third day.
In Singapore today, the bride returns home on the wedding day, and the tea ceremony for her parents and relatives takes place then. In the past, the groom presented a whole roast pig to his in-laws: the meat was shared among the bride's relatives, and the head and tail were returned to the groom for "a good beginning and end".
Couples planning a Chinese wedding have two routes: celebrate in China or bring the customs home. Here is what Australians need to know about safety, entry and the legal side, current as at November 2026.
As at 6 November 2026, Smartraveller advises Australians to "Exercise a high degree of caution" in China overall, in advice updated on 28 September 2026. It advises "Reconsider your need to travel" to Gyirong County in Tibet, due to the ongoing risk of severe flooding and landslides, and "Exercise a high degree of caution" in Tibet and Xinjiang, due to the security situation. Check the advice for your exact location before you book.
Smartraveller also warns that Australians may be at risk of arbitrary detention, exit bans or harsh enforcement of local laws, including broadly defined National Security Laws. China does not recognise dual nationality, and dual nationals who travel on a Chinese or other non-Australian passport cannot receive Australian consular help.
China has included Australia in its visa waiver program until 31 December 2026. Ordinary Australian passport holders can enter visa-free for no more than 30 days for business, tourism, visiting family and friends or transit, subject to assessment by Chinese authorities, and must complete an electronic arrival card. For a 2027 wedding, check the entry rules closer to the date.
Two Australians cannot legally marry in China. Since 1 April 2019, two non-Chinese citizens can no longer register their marriage there, as the Australian Embassy in Beijing confirms. If neither of you is a Chinese citizen, marry legally in Australia and hold your Chinese celebration in China.
If one partner is a Chinese citizen, the couple register the marriage at a marriage bureau in China. Most Chinese provinces require a Certificate of No Impediment to Marriage (CNI), which the Australian Embassy in Beijing and the Consulates-General in Shanghai, Guangzhou and Chengdu issue in English, by appointment. Requirements vary between provincial marriage offices, so confirm the current list with the marriage bureau in the city where you will marry.
DFAT issues CNIs through Australian Passport Offices, Australian embassies, high commissions and consulates overseas, and by mail, and fees apply. Some authorities accept a Single Status Certificate or No Record Result Certificate from your state or territory births, deaths and marriages registry instead. The Smartraveller guide to getting a CNI sets out each step.
Before you book, confirm with the marriage bureau:
Which documents do they need from the Australian partner?
Do any documents need translation or certification, and by whom?
How long does registration take?
What does it cost?
You can't register an overseas marriage in Australia, but in most cases it is legally recognised here, provided it was valid where it took place and would have been valid under Australian law. Smartraveller recommends talking to a lawyer to confirm your overseas marriage certificate is valid in Australia, and its page on getting married overseas has the detail.
If China is one option among several, see destination weddings in Asia, the do's and don'ts of Asian destination weddings and our destination wedding packages.
Chinese customs translate well to a wedding in Australia. Schedule two tea sittings, one for each family, on the wedding morning with travel time between the two homes, and pair a red ensemble for the banquet with a white gown for the ceremony. Each dialect group has its own practices, so start with a conversation with both sets of parents.
Before you set the order of the day, confirm how long each family's tea sitting will take, who will drive elders between the two homes and where they can rest. If you are celebrating in China, arrange flights, airport transfers, step-free access, and travel insurance and medical cover suited to older guests well ahead.
Start with one question at the family table: which of these rites did your parents keep? Then explore our guides to Filipino wedding traditions and unusual wedding traditions around the world. When you are ready to shape the day, in China or at home, speak with a Wedded Advisor.
Written by
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Ayrton Christian Braga is an SEO Specialist at Wedded Wonderland, where he writes optimized articles and web pages that center on destination weddings, cultural wedding traditions, and guides for everything in between.
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