When we left the four couples from The Seven Year Switch last week, everything was looking rosy. Brad and Tallena got engaged (again), Tim gave Jackie a weird NSFW massage to make up for jumping into bed with another woman, Michelle and Jason were going to work through their issues and Cassie and Ryan pretty much confirmed they were expecting a baby (no words were exchanged, we just caught more glimpses of Cassie’s impressive baby bump).
However, last night’s reunion cleared up the rumours, but also gave us one devastating breakup.
Firstly, the host, Edwina Bartholomew introduced us to Cassie and Ryan, who reveal that their soon-to-be-born baby will be a girl, as well as the fact that they actually found out Cassie was pregnant just days before going on the show. These two lovebirds are totally back on track and appear to be enjoying each other’s company more than ever before with Cassie saying, “We’re just happy now. I know when Ryan’s going to work and when Ryan’s coming home.” So, if we’re to take anything from Cassie and Ryan, it’s that you should track your partner’s activities closely… #RelationshipGoals?
Next up is Michelle and Jason and from the moment they sit down on the red ‘love sofa’, we can tell something’s wrong. They don’t look each other in the eye and Michelle is sitting like Jason has a contagious disease that will cause her long, lush Rapunzel hair to fall out (how did you get her hair so shiny, Channel 7!?).
The glossy-haired maiden (aka Michelle), goes on to say, “At the end of the day we decided we were going to separate. It got to the stage where we kind of looked at each other and we couldn’t try anymore. We were just suffering under each other’s pressure.”
The couple ensure us (through tears), that they’re happier apart.
Next up, we have Jackie and Tim who’ve decided that the best way to fix all the problems in their relationship is to get engaged (Tim proposed to Jackie with a voucher for a tattoo ring), move to another city (the Gold Coast) and have a baby. Jackie announces that she’s 25 weeks into the pregnancy, so that means the bub was conceived almost immediately after the pair reunited at the end of the ‘experiment’…
Before we leave Jackie and Tim, Edwina asks Jackie what she thought of the footage showing Tim getting naked in the spa with Tallena. She gives the most un-Jackie like response, “I did find it quite hilarious when he took his pants off in the spa”, which begs the question, has Tim brainwashed this previously strong, outspoken woman?
Finally, Edwina asks what Tim would want to say to Jackie’s experimental partner, Brad. He says, “Brad, lighten the f*ck up.”
On that note, it seems appropriate to bring out Brad and Tallena!
This pair seem super in love, with Brad admitting he came to the realisation throughout the series that he was a douche and instead of taking his ‘douche’ behaviour out on Tallena, he’s decided to channel it through his wardrobe by incorporating a few items ‘douche-looking’ clothing – including this douchey-hooded jacket.
Anywho, Brad and Tallena finally got Married and we bet they’ve sold the pics to a weekly magazine.
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