Host your engagement party within a few months of the proposal, invite only people you plan to invite to the wedding, and choose a format that suits the size of the group. A long lunch or dinner works for a small circle, a cocktail party or garden party for a bigger one. The ideas below cover ten formats, from brunch to rooftop drinks.
Plan it for the first few months after the proposal. The party marks the news, so it works best before you are deep in venue visits and supplier meetings. Leave a clear gap before the wedding as well, so the engagement party does not end up competing with the rehearsal dinner or welcome drinks.
Traditionally the bride's parents hosted. Today it is just as often both families together, the couple themselves or a close friend. Whoever hosts covers the cost, and guests should never be asked to pay for their own food or drinks.
When both families host together, the party also gives them an evening together months before the wedding.
Start from your wedding guest list and invite a smaller group from it: immediate family and the friends who would be hurt to miss it. Anyone invited to the engagement party will expect to be invited to the wedding, so keep the list tighter than you think you need, especially if you are planning a small wedding or a destination wedding.
Choose the venue by the number of guests first and the style second.
Hosting at home is the most personal option and suits a smaller group. A garden party needs a wet-weather plan, so decide before the invitations go out whether you will hire a marquee or move everyone indoors.
A restaurant's private room takes care of food, service and clean-up, which leaves you free to talk to your guests. It suits a seated lunch or dinner for family and close friends.
A reserved area at a rooftop bar or winery suits a cocktail party and a younger crowd. If grandparents are coming, check that there is seating and that the music can be kept low enough to talk over.
A dedicated venue suits a bigger guest list or a more formal evening.
If your wedding will be abroad, host the engagement party near home. It gives the friends and relatives who cannot make the trip a proper celebration, and it is a good place to share the destination and dates.
Brunch suits a mixed group of ages and keeps the drinks lighter. Serve pastries, fruit and something hot, with champagne and a non-alcoholic option for anyone driving.
Ask guests to dress in white, or keep the white to the flowers, linen and candles and leave the dress code relaxed. It works indoors or in a garden.
An afternoon garden party suits spring and summer. Add lawn games to get guests out of their seats and talking to people they have not met.
High tea saves you from catering a full meal for a large group. Order finger sandwiches, scones and a few elegant cakes, and serve tea alongside champagne.
Book a rooftop for sunset drinks and canapés. Two or three hours is long enough for toasts and mingling.
Set one long table in the garden and serve the food family style, so guests pass plates and talk across the table.
If the wedding will be overseas, serve the food of that country. An Italian dinner for a wedding on the Amalfi Coast, or margaritas and small plates for Mexico, gives guests a taste of the trip ahead.
Tropical flowers, coconut drinks and dinner served on banana leaves suit a summer night, especially if the honeymoon is headed somewhere warm.
Hire one or two food trucks for a park or a big backyard. Guests choose their own food, and there is less to set up and clear away.
A taco bar with margaritas is easy to cater and suits a relaxed crowd. Keep the decor simple and let the food carry the theme.
Match the menu to the format. A cocktail party needs canapés and a dessert, a brunch needs a spread guests can graze, and a seated dinner works best for a smaller group. One signature cocktail plus wine and beer keeps the bar simple, with a good non-alcoholic option alongside.
Plan one short toast from the host or a parent, then a reply from the two of you. If the families have not met, a simple icebreaker, such as guests guessing which of you said what, gets the two sides talking.
Send invitations four to six weeks ahead, and earlier for guests who need to travel. Include the host's name, the date, time and venue, the dress code and the RSVP date. Leave registry details off the invitation; gifts are not expected at an engagement party, and guests who want to give one can find your registry on your wedding website.
Settle the guest list and the host first, since they decide the venue and the format. Once those are set, choose one of the ideas above and send the invitations four to six weeks out.
Written by
Senior SEO Specialist, Wedded Wonderland
Mark Tuason is the Senior SEO Specialist at Wedded Wonderland, where he writes and refreshes the brand's guides to destination weddings and cultural wedding traditions. He starts with the questions couples search for, checks the answers against trusted sources, and shapes each guide to help them plan, compare and book with confidence. Based in the Philippines, he specialises in content strategy and on-page SEO.
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