Choosing the right bridesmaids is key to ensure the months leading up to the wedding are fun and as stress-free as possible. Your ‘maids will not only be by your side on the most important day of your life, but they’ll be integral to the planning and they’ll also be the ones who keep you sane when things start to get crazy.

However, getting the right group of girls (or guys!), can be tough. Not only do you need to select only a handful of your best friends, relatives and mentors, but you also need to make sure the dynamic is right; because a clash of personalities can lead to major drama.

If you’re struggling, here are seven questions you should ask yourself before deciding who will make the cut.

1. How Big?

Before you even start shortlisting your bridesmaids, you’ve got to make a decision about the size of your bridal party. Traditionally you should have the same number of ‘maids as your groom has groomsmen; however, don’t let this rule make or break your final decision. Once you’ve chosen your magic number, stick with it.

2. Will She Have Your Back?

Being a bridesmaid isn’t all fun and games, you need to choose girls who will have your back, help you with planning, give you honest answers (even if you don’t want to hear it) and join you on day-long shopping expeditions. If you aren’t sure that she’ll be 100% dedicated, don’t add her to the shortlist.

3. Does She Get Along with the Groom?

It’s not ALL about you. When choosing your bridesmaids, make sure that there is no tension between your best girls and the groom. You’ll all be spending so much time together that if your bridesmaids and groom don’t click, it will lead to some serious tension.


Image from Renata and James’ wedding. Photography by CJ Williams Photography.

4. Where Will You Be in 10 Years?

Your bridesmaids should be women that you’ll have in your life forever, not friends that will be by your side for a year. Ask yourself whether you’ll still be close in ten years’ time and that will help determine whether they’re a good choice.

5. Would She Return the Favour?

This question doesn’t necessarily mean she has to include you in her bridal party, but she should at least consider you as one of her closest friends. If you’re not sure she would list you in her top 10 besties, it might not be a good idea to have her in the bridal party.2

Image from Dianne and Greg’s wedding. Photography by Ryan Ortega Photography.

6. Is There a Relation?

Family members are a great option for the bridal party, because as much as they annoy you, you can’t get rid of them! If you consider a sister, cousin or aunt as one of your good friends, it’s a sure sign they should be part of the bridesmaid squad.

7. Is She an In-Law?

The same rule applies for in-laws. If you count your groom’s sister or cousin as a close friend, asking them to be your bridesmaid will only strengthen the friendship. Plus, your fiancé will love you for it!


Image from Lisa and Jason’s wedding. Photography by Chris Clinnick.

Main Image from Jaimee and Elias’ wedding. Photography by Michal Kreish

Posted in Bridesmaids, Planning by wedded wonderland

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