Choosing the Bridesmaids is almost as tricky as managing hostile negotiations, you need the patience of a diplomat, and the stubbornness of a teenager. If you’ve started Wedding Planning and are trying to narrow down or finalise your Bridesmaids, don’t do anything hasty without reading this first.
Before you madly phone all of your closest girlfriends, make sure you discuss the Bridal Party with the Groom. If it’s important that you have the same number of ‘Maids as you do Groomsmen, you need to decide on how many each of you will have. You should also steer clear of asking any friends who don’t get along with the Groom. This is his day too and you don’t want any tension. Keep the Bridal party to a close group of friends that you both like.
No Bride enjoys spending every weekend shopping with a Bridesmaid crew of eight, because no one can decide on a dress. Be clear from the outset that you expect your ‘Maids to let you take the lead and choose their dress for them.
This might seem a little crazy, but it’s good to have an idea on whether your girlfriend can afford to take up Bridesmaid duties. Even if you try and keep it as cost-effective as possible, it’s likely your ‘Maids will be forking out for a Bridal shower, hen’s night, dress, shoes, makeup and gifts – making it an expensive commitment. If you’re concerned, have an honest conversation with your girl before you officially pop the ‘B’ question.
Before you ask them, ask yourself whether you see your potential Bridesmaid in your life in five or ten years. Bridesmaids should be the girls who you’ll have around forever, so go for a long-lasting friendship over a short, intense one.
You should never feel pressured to have someone in your Bridal party who you don’t want to; so before you make your decision, ask yourself whether you’re asking her for you, or to please your Mum/Aunt/Brother-in-Law.
Be a rebel and ask your male best friend or brother to be a Bridesman.
Just because you were asked to be a Bridesmaid in your friend’s Wedding, it doesn’t mean you’re obliged to have her in your Bridal party. Your ‘Maids should be people who are relevant in your life right now, not a friend from the past that you haven’t seen in years.
Main image from Kristy and Sam’s wedding. Photography by Doux Wedding Corp
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