We know, we know, breakups suck. If you’re going through one right now, then our hearts go out to you. Stay strong sister.
But while you’re in the middle of drowning your sorrows in your third tub of ice cream, we need to have a talk. From all of us who have been in your situation before, we’re here to tell you that not only does it get better, but the whole experience is going to be one big learning opportunity. So wipe those tears and sit up straight, here is everything you’re going to learn after your breakup.
When you’re at a low during your post-breakup, one thing you’ll definitely learn is that your friends are SO important. Honestly, your appreciation for your mates is going to absolutely skyrocket. They’ll be there for you while you ugly-cry, they’ll listen to you reminisce about the good times, while still telling you that there’s much better waiting for you, and they’ll be the ones to knock sense back into you when you think you should get back together with your ex. And that’s just the beginning of the list.
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Yes, this is a bit of a cliche, but it is true! Right now you might be feeling like a pathetic mess that’ll break apart at the smallest thing. Please, don’t look at that as a sign of weakness. You’re allowed to hurt, and you’re allowed to express that in any way you like. Just know that it doesn’t change the fact that you are one tough cookie. Wait it out, give it some time, and all this will just be a bad memory, and you’ll bounce back better and stronger than ever.
Easier said than done, sure, but try and find it in you to forgive your ex. It might feel great in the moment to pull out all your petty guns, but it’ll probably come back to bite you in the ass some time later. We’re not saying forgive the idiot who broke your heart straight away, but try and work towards that goal. It takes a lot less energy to hate someone, and really, what’s the point of carrying all the heavy weight of resentment? Get yourself some closure, let it go, and you’ll come out the better for it.
Note: This doesn’t really mean you need to forget. Just because you’ve forgiven someone’s shitty actions, doesn’t mean you don’t learn and let someone else, or the same person, hurt you in the same way. Forgive, but grow.
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When your friends tell you that you’re better off without him, they really do know what’s up. Chances are that everything about him that irritated you before is going to dig itself right up sooner or later if you head back to him. Know your worth and understand that someone better is waiting for you. Even if you don’t find him anytime soon, it’ll still be better than a shitty relationship that you left behind. Always move forward babe, and don’t you look back.
If, for whatever reason, you’re finding it difficult to not go back to your ex, then here’s a tip: cut all ties. Go onto every social media platform, and just unfriend/unfollow the shit out of him. It makes moving on SO much easier when you don’t have a constant reminder of him every time you hop online. Trust us, this will save you a lot of time.
No matter who your man is, know that he is not the sun and you shouldn’t be revolving around him. Take this breakup and learn for the sake of your next relationship that you need to have your own life that is separate to his. If while you’re dating you notice that all your hobbies slowly change into everything he likes to do, then you need to stop and re-evaluate.
Be your own individual, and take pride in it. Sure, compromise is a big part of any relationship, but don’t forget to keep doing you.
Don’t think that you need to move on with life and go back to normal ASAP. Sure, it’d be great if you could, but don’t feel pressured to jump straight back to life. It’s fine to take the time you need to properly heal and get rid of all that emotional baggage. And please, PLEASE, do not throw yourself into another relationship just to help you get over everything. Seriously, it’s not healthy.
Written by Hanan Merheb
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