It’s the perfect time and the perfect place to get down on one knee, but there was one thing you weren’t expecting. Asking someone to marry you is life-changing and we generally only expect one answer – yes. But what if she doesn’t choose that option, what if she says no?
Making the decision to be with your partner forever is a choice that not only men have to make, but women too. It’s easy to see yourself with the one you love for the rest of your life, it’s the same as being in a relationship but with an evolved title at the start of your name, right?
When it comes to that moment, when you want to marry someone, there is more planning than where it happens and how you do it – prepare to deal with rejection. However confident you may be in your proposal, the person on the receiving end may not be. If this happens and she says no there are three things you need to make sure you do:
Stay calm and don’t panic
There may be a dozens of eyes on you depending on how you planned it, but you need to keep cool, calm and collected despite what you may be feeling. Panic can make the situation a whole lot worse when this takes you by surprise, especially if you exclaim something in a way that you shouldn’t have. Which leads us to the next step.
Don’t get angry
This in no way should lead into an argument. With emotions at an all-time high, the last thing you should do is become aggressive in your tone, your language or your body language. It’s a hard time for her as well. As much as you may think she’s being insensitive and embarrassing you, how do you think she feels having to tell you something that she knows could break your heart?
Get out of there and talk it over
If you are in a public place, get away from prying eyes. There’s nothing worse than having people stare and intrude into your life, even with such a public declaration. Whether it be to the car or a separate location, move and hear her side of the story. It might not be something you want to hear, but leaving the situation with bad blood could actually end the amazing relationship you have when it doesn’t have to.
But what if she says yes, then says no later?
Repeat all the same steps as above. If anything this is better in a bittersweet way if you are in public. It saves the pity party strangers give you, and the heartless looks for her.
Although the sanctity of marriage is something that nearly all of us dream of when we are children, it’s a bigger step to take than some may realise, with many people not wanting it at all.
There could be many reasons behind her saying no. She may think it’s too quick, be scared, unsure of your future together, or she may personally think that marriage isn’t necessary between you because you are already so happy. No matter what her reason, her decision does not mean she has ended your relationship with the word ‘no’. So don’t take it as much unless she explains there is a real issue.
Being the one to propose is a hefty burden in the most amazing and nerve-wracking way, so you need to take it upon yourself to realise not all proposals happen the way Hollywood has educated us to believe.
The worst thing you could do is not prepare for the worst. Proposal rejections are real and you need to handle it right if it happens to you.
Main image from jamesferrara.com