The etiquette of weddings, just like everything else, is subject to change. The most recent debate? The honeymoon fund.

Designed as an alternative to the traditional registry, the honeymoon fund is an extension of asking for towels and that one vase you love. It lets you to register for everything from flights to accommodation to activities you’d like to do on your honeymoon. Particularly for couples who are living together, it’s a viable alternative but it’s also too easy to see the gesture as just a grab for money.

So is it rude or just a new tradition?

You are asking for money. While some registries focus on setting up optional activities for your honeymoon, others don’t. Some just ask for a dollar amount and your credit card information, nothing more. Even if your honeymoon fund is set up to ask your guests to pay for your dinner on the beach, it’s still a harder sell.

Why though? Because right or wrong, we generally feel as though the honeymoon is the responsibility of the married couple. Would you ask people to pay for your flights? For your accommodation? For the cost of getting your passport renewed? So why would you ask people to pay for you to go jet skiing on your honeymoon? It also adds an element of guilt for the giver. What if they don’t pay for you to go jet skiing on your holiday? Are you going to sit in your hotel room begrudging them for the decision?

Weddings are expensive. Everyone knows it. Even the simple wedding has the potential to blow out a budget and your wedding guests will give you a gift afterwards. If you don’t need another toaster or don’t care about having a matching set of bowls, is it that wrong to ask for what you do want? To many people, experiences are important and those added extras will be the things that you remember fifteen years from now.

People want to feel as though their gift has been a success and hand picking activities is almost a perfect example of that. It might not come with the element of surprise but neither does a traditional registry either. What it comes with is a guarantee the person receiving your gift wants it. It also leaves the giver with that fuzzy feeling, knowing someone is enjoying themselves more because of them.

In the end, the decision is yours. If you do decide to go ahead with a honeymoon registry, be prepared that you may annoy some of your guests. We recommend making sure that the site you pick lists the activities and gives your guests options on how to pay. We also think it’s a nice touch to make sure you take pictures of each activity and send those on as a thank you to whoever bought you the gift. You might be able to convert a few people!

Posted in Honeymoon, Planning by wedded wonderland

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