Good wedding thank you card wording names the gift by what it will become, adds one line only that guest could receive, and stops at about five lines, as the 50 notes below do.
Swap every name and italic line for something true. If the honeymoon your guests gave towards is still to book, Wedded Concierge can plan it.
Open with the name they use. Name the gift by its use, or their presence if there was no gift. Add the personal line, then close with something other than "thanks again".
Length follows closeness, so the cards never read as a ranking of gifts:
Short, three lines: Colleagues and acquaintances, on a correspondence card.
Standard, five lines: Most friends and family.
Long, seven lines or more: Parents, elders, godparents, hosts and anyone who travelled far, on a folded note.
Four rules keep each note honest:
Use only what happened: If nothing true comes to mind, say how you use the gift, and promise only what you will do.
Write to their customs: Use their own names and blessings, leave wine out for anyone who doesn't drink, and save jokes for friends.
Handwrite every gift note: A printed card can thank guests for coming (note 26), but never for a gift.
Sign as you wrote: Whoever knows the guest writes and signs first; the other adds their name below.
Aim for the week each gift arrives; Emily Post puts the outer limit at three months. For names and blessings from other cultures, our guide to wedding traditions around the world helps. Card designs are in our 7 wedding thank you card ideas, and the etiquette in our dos and don'ts of writing your thank you cards.
Name what the money becomes and leave the sum out. Guests who give money want to know it landed somewhere that matters to you. One concrete use, such as the dining table or the dinner in Florence, does that better than a general line about the future.
> Dear Helen and Mark, > > Thank you for your gift towards the house. It is becoming the oak dining table we have long wanted. *We chose oak because you told us it outlasts everything.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Name the use, never the sum.
> Dear Rosalind and Edward, > > Thank you for your gift. We are keeping it for something we will have for years, and we will write when we know what. *Yours was the first card we opened that night.* > > Warmly, Sam and Lucy
Promise a second note only if you will send it.
> Dear Uncle Tariq and Aunt Mona, > > Thank you for your card and your generous gift. It is going towards our first trip as a married couple. *Your line about our first home made us both laugh.* > > Love from us both, Sam and Lucy
"Your generous gift" suits an elder. Where several cards share one envelope, each gets its own note.
> Dear Mr and Mrs Hartley, > > Your cheque arrived safely. Thank you for thinking of us. *It is going towards a print of the place where we married.* > > With warm wishes, Sam and Lucy Bennett
"Arrived safely" says it landed, with no figure.
> Dear Fiona, > > Thank you for your gift towards our honeymoon. *We will think of you on the boat trip you told us not to miss.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
One sentence on the trip, then stop. If the trip is still to choose, see our luxury honeymoon destinations.
> Dear Daniel, > > Thank you for your gift towards our honeymoon. It will pay for one dinner, on the last night, on a terrace above the water. *You told us to book the late table, so we did.* > > Yours, Lucy and Sam
Name the dinner or the day out, never the cost.
> Dear Joanna, > > Thank you for your gift towards our first home. It has gone into the sofa, which arrives in March. *The first person to sit on it will be you.* > > Gratefully, Sam and Lucy
Name the piece, and when it arrives.
Say how you use each gift, and where it sits. A guest who chose a physical gift pictured it in your home. Placing it there for them, on the shelf or at the table, is the line they will remember.
> Dear Olivia, > > Thank you for the coffee machine, which we have used every morning since we got home. *Making the first cup is now Sam's job.* > > With love, Lucy and Sam
Say how often you use it. A guest who bought from your list wants to hear it was the right choice, and daily use is the proof.
> Dear Catherine, > > Thank you for the champagne coupes, which we used on our first evening home. *You said to hold them by the stem, and now we do.* > > Love, Lucy and Sam
Name the first occasion you used them. A gift for the table invites a return invitation, so mention a dinner they could join.
> Dear Nadia, > > Thank you for the painting. It hangs in the hall, where we see it first each evening. *You chose the colours of the coast where we met.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Say where it hangs.
> Dear Aunt Joan, > > Thank you for Grandmother's silver cake slice. We will look after it. *It cut its first cake in our kitchen last Sunday.* > > With love, Lucy and Sam
Promise to keep it, then name its first use.
> Dear George, > > Thank you for the case of claret. We have put it down for our fifth anniversary, and the first bottle will be yours. *Your note said not to open it before then, so we will wait.* > > With our thanks, Sam and Lucy
Name the year you will open it.
> Dear Grace, > > Thank you for the quilt, and for the hours you gave it. *The corner stitched with lace from your own wedding is our favourite part.* > > With love and thanks, Lucy and Sam
Acknowledge the hours, then one detail. Hand-delivered or posted, a note for a handmade gift deserves your best handwriting.
> Dear Beatrice, > > Thank you for the voucher. It will pay for an evening out, just the two of us, once the weeks settle. *We will tell you where we went.* > > Warmly, Lucy and Sam
Name the occasion, never the shop or the sum.
> Dear Hugh, > > Thank you for the clock. It stands in the hall, and we hear it strike each morning. *Sam says it keeps better time than he does.* > > With love, Lucy and Sam
Thank the choice and say where it stands. Claim only what is true.
Thank the cause, the group or the occasion, never the sum. A donation note thanks the giver for choosing the cause. A group gift note goes to the organiser first, with a line for everyone who chipped in.
> Dear Nina, > > Thank you for your gift to Médecins Sans Frontières in our names. *We chose it because Lucy's cousin works with them.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Spell the charity as it spells itself. The charity itself needs no note from you; for each further donor, change only the italic line.
> Dear Eleanor and James, > > Thank you for the cooking class. We have booked it for a Saturday in spring. *We will cook you the first dish.* > > Love always, Sam and Lucy
Name the date you will use it.
> Dear all, > > Thank you for the luggage, which has already been packed twice. *Your card is still tucked in the front pocket.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Each friend who contributed gets a note too. Keep a list of who joined in, so nobody who contributed is missed.
> Dear everyone in the finance team, > > Thank you for the serving platters, and for the card that went round the office. *I have read every message twice.* > > With thanks, Lucy
One signature; send it to the organiser. Ask the organiser to pass it round, or pin it where the whole team will see it.
> Dear Rachel and David, > > Thank you both for the lamp. Rachel, seeing you at the wedding after all these years meant a great deal. *David, we hope you will come to dinner so we can meet properly.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Write to the one you know, and welcome the other by name.
Thank the journey before any gift: guests weigh its cost when choosing one, as our destination wedding etiquette answers explain. A guest who came without a gift still gets a full note. Nobody should be able to tell from your card what they gave, or whether they gave anything at all.
> Dear Marcus and Ellie, > > Thank you for flying all that way to be with us. *Seeing you walk in before the ceremony is the moment we still talk about.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Thank any gift after the trip, in its own sentence. If they stayed on after the wedding, mention a moment from those extra days.
> Dear Neil and Judith, > > Thank you for driving through the night to be with us. *The photograph of you on the front steps, still in your coats, is one of our favourites.* > > Gratefully, Sam and Lucy
Thank the drive as you would a flight. Mention the distance or the hour they set off, so they know the effort was noticed.
> Dear Hannah, > > Thank you for the long journey to be with us, and for staying to the end. *Lucy's grandfather is still talking about your conversation.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Thank the presence and stop. For a local guest, open "Thank you for being with us".
> Dear Aunt Ruth, > > Thank you for the vase. We missed you. *The flowers from the top table went straight into it.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Bring them into the day through the gift.
> Dear Isabel and Luke, > > Thank you for the journey to our celebration by the lake. *The long lunch, with your children asleep on the cushions, is the picture we keep.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Cards to guests at the first celebration never mention the second. Guests at the second one get a note that names that day alone, as if it were the only one.
> Dear friends, > > Thank you for sharing this evening with us. *The sweets beside your plate are made to Lucy's grandmother's recipe.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Printed before the day, so it thanks guests only for coming. Every guest who gave a gift still gets a handwritten note afterwards.
> Dear Charlotte and Ben, > > Thank you for giving us the whole weekend. Breakfast on Sunday, with everyone still in the same room, was the best of it. *Charlotte, your walk that morning is the part we keep.* > > Love from us both, Lucy and Sam
Thank the weekend, not each event in it.
Say what they made possible, in the names you use at home. These are the notes most likely to be kept in a drawer for decades. Take your time over them, and write them by hand even if the rest are typed.
> Dear Mum and Dad, > > Thank you for the wedding, and for all you gave towards it: a day with everyone we love in one place. *Dad, Sam's family still asks about your speech.* > > All our love, Lucy and Sam
Use what you call them at home, Mum and Dad or Mama and Baba. "All you gave towards it" thanks money without a figure.
> Dear Robert and Anne, > > Thank you for welcoming my family as warmly as you have always welcomed me. *Anne, your flowers for the tables were admired all evening.* > > With love, Lucy
Written and signed by their new son or daughter-in-law. A note in your own hand tells them you are now family, not a guest at theirs.
> Dear Grandpa, > > Thank you for being with us, and for your gift towards our first home. *Our favourite photograph is you in the front row, in the tie from your own wedding.* > > With all our love, Sam and Lucy
Write larger if their eyesight needs it. Post it rather than delivering it by hand, because many grandparents enjoy a letter arriving.
> Dear Great-Aunt Margaret, > > Thank you for your kind letter and the silver frame. *Your line about marriage being built at the breakfast table is pinned above ours.* > > With love and thanks, Sam and Lucy
Match her salutation. If she wrote by hand, write back by hand on your best paper.
> Dear Uncle Frank, > > We missed you at the wedding. Thank you for your generous gift, and for your call that morning. *A photograph of the cake is on its way.* > > Yours always, Sam and Lucy
Send something from the day.
> Dear Carol, > > Thank you for everything you did for the wedding, and for being there for Dad all year. *You kept the timings on track while the photographs ran late, and we saw it.* > > Gratefully, Lucy
Match the warmth of your parent's note. Address it to them alone, not tucked inside the card to your parent.
Write these in a warmer, longer voice than the rest. They gave time as well as gifts, often months of it. Name what they did, not only what they bought.
> Dear Elizabeth, > > Thank you for the pearls, which I will wear whenever an occasion deserves them. *You sat in the front row at my christening and again at my wedding.* > > With all my love, Lucy
One line on the gift, the rest on them. A memory from childhood that only they share will mean more than any praise for the gift.
> Dear Kate and Oliver, > > Thank you for opening your house to sixty of our friends and family. *Oliver, your toast set the tone for the whole year.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Thank hosts within two days of the party. Name one moment from the night, such as a toast or the room as guests arrived.
> Dear Sophie, > > Thank you for organising the weekend, and for keeping twelve of us to a timetable. *The photographs stay in the group chat, as agreed.* > > Love, Lucy
Also the bucks, bachelor or bachelorette weekend. Thank the organisers by name, and send the group a shorter line for everyone who came.
> Dear Patricia, > > Thank you for lending us the house for the week before the wedding. *The guest book has a page from everyone who slept there.* > > With love and thanks, Sam and Lucy
Send a small gift with it. Mention the guests they took in by name, so they know you saw what that cost them.
> Dear Ollie, > > Thank you for standing beside me, for keeping the rings safe and for a speech my mother wants framed. *You checked my collar three times before the ceremony.* > > With love, Sam
In the first person, from one of you. Name one thing they did that no guest saw.
> Dear Jess, > > Thank you for the morning. You pinned everyone's hair in place before your own, and kept us to time. *The safety pins in your clutch were called on twice before the ceremony.* > > Love, Lucy
Name the job nobody else saw.
> Dear Matthew, > > Thank you for the reading. You read it slowly, and the room went very quiet. *Would you write it out for us, to keep with our marriage certificate?* > > Love from Sam and Lucy
Ask for something to keep.
Keep these shorter, and let one detail do the work. Colleagues read these at their desks, often in front of others. A wedding professional reads them as a reference for their work, so be specific.
> Dear Priya, > > Thank you for the serving bowl. *It has already done duty at our first dinner party.* > > With best wishes, Lucy
For a cheque, open "Your cheque arrived safely" instead. Hand it over at work only if they would be comfortable with others seeing it.
> Dear Andrew, > > Thank you for coming to our wedding. *Your words at our table about my first week in the job were very kind.* > > With best wishes, Lucy Bennett
Presence is the whole note. Keep it to a few lines, written as warmly as you would to anyone else.
> Dear Michael, > > Thank you for marrying us, and for making a nervous half hour feel unhurried. *When Lucy's mother cried, you paused and let her.* > > With warm thanks, Sam and Lucy
A card, not an email, with any tip kept separate. A specific moment from the ceremony shows them their words were heard.
> Dear Isla, > > Thank you for holding the whole day together. *When the rain arrived at four, you had the tables under cover before we heard about it.* > > With our thanks, Sam and Lucy
Add a review to the card. Name the moment they rescued, so they can point future couples to it.
> Dear Theo, > > Thank you for the photographs. *You caught the second my father let go of my arm, and it is the one we framed first.* > > With gratitude, Lucy and Sam
Name one moment. For a florist or venue team, name what guests mentioned. Keep any tip separate from the card.
Each asks for a kind line, never an explanation. The trick is to thank what you can honestly thank. These six cover the gifts and situations most couples dread.
> Dear Martin and Sue, > > Thank you for the toaster, and for the thought behind it. *Seeing you both at the front for the vows is a memory we will keep.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Thank the thought; never mention the exchange. Whatever you exchange it for, you can thank them for that too, without naming the swap.
> Dear Caroline, > > Thank you for the glass decanter, a beautiful choice. *Your card about absent friends made us both stop for a moment.* > > Love from us both, Lucy and Sam
Say nothing of the damage in the card. Tell them by phone, so they can claim from the courier.
> Dear Clarke family, > > Thank you for being with us, and for your kindness on the day. *All four of you at our table is one of our favourite pictures.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
Never guess in ink. Ask quietly; if nobody knows, send this to each likely giver.
> Dear Anthony, > > Your parcel arrived this week. Thank you for the linen napkins. *They made their first appearance at Sunday lunch with Sam's parents.* > > Warmly, Lucy and Sam
Answer within the week, with no apology.
> Dear Moira, > > Forgive the delay, we wanted to write properly. Thank you for the cut-glass bowl, full of lemons since we got home. *Your toast to Lucy's grandmother had the whole table on its feet.* > > With love, Sam and Lucy
One line of apology, then no excuses.
The opening and close can repeat; the personal line never does. Start a gift log on the night, before cards come loose from envelopes:
Giver: Names spelt as they spell them.
Gift: What it was, or "money" with no amount.
One detail: Something only that guest could receive.
Who writes: The partner who knows them best.
Date sent: So nobody gets two cards, or none.
Split the log by side, with shared friends alternating, and write ten a night each; at that pace, 300 notes take a fortnight. Read the last card of each sitting aloud, and rewrite it if it sounds like the one before.
After a wishing well) reception, start from note 3. Open the well that night, log each envelope against its card, and use note 48 for any with no name.
Deciduous Press, a Tasmanian letterpress studio, prints flat thank you cards with room for a handwritten note and matching cotton envelopes. Quotes include GST and Express Post. The wider plan is in our Australia wedding guide.
A printed bilingual card in the favour box thanks the whole room for coming. Every gift, every elder and every guest at a second celebration abroad still gets a handwritten note, and those cards never mention the other event. Bateel offers its dates as a return gift for guests.
For an elder, set the Arabic above the English.
> جَزَاكِ ٱللَّٰهُ خَيْرًا > > Dear Teta, thank you for your prayers on the day and for the gold set. *I wore it again at Friday lunch at your house.*
*Jazāki llāhu khayran* thanks a woman and *jazāka* a man; for two people, the dual is *jazākumā*, جزاكما الله خيرا. Sign with both names, the grandchild's first. A relative met only at the men's or women's celebration still hears from you both: "Thank you for your blessing at the majlis, and for your generous gift."
Ananya Cards, in London and Dubai, has multilingual designers. Bring your count, both languages and any foil or monogram to the quote, and have every Arabic line proofed. For the wedding itself, start with our Dubai wedding guide.
Debrett's says formal thank you letters must go for all wedding presents, "before the weeks slip into months".
Smythson's personalised Kings correspondence card, 159 x 102mm, starts at £216 for 50, dispatched within eight working days of proof approval. Papier's Timeless Thanks is £89.50 for 50 and can be left blank. Prices change, so confirm when you order.
Log registry gifts that ship separately on the day they arrive, since the three months run from each one, and thank them as note 8. After a City Hall wedding and a later party, name the event each guest came to.
Minted's folded thank you cards, 5.5 x 4.25 in and blank inside, offer gold, silver or rose gold foil.
Write to both sets of parents, your godparents, your hosts and your eldest relative first, while the day is fresh. Then work through the log, oldest gifts first. Batching the rest at ten a night keeps the last note as warm as the first.
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