We’re going to take what might be an unpopular stance right from the beginning here. The answer?


We know. We all love our gay BFF at least as much as every other girl that will be your bridesmaid. In some cases, we might even love him a little bit more, let’s be honest. That’s not even up for debate. He might be the perfect guy to go with you to dress fittings. After all, across the board we’ve never met anyone as willing to state their true opinion. The same goes for the catering, the venue or the flowers. And the music. And just about any big decision.

So the real question? Can your gay BFF be in your Bridal Party? That’s an obvious YES!

We can’t think of one single reason why not actually. Just remember that your gay BFF is still a guy. You might think he’d want to be invited to your kitchen tea, but there’s a good chance he might not. Male strippers aside, you can’t assume that he wants to be involved. His idea of a good Saturday may not be dress shopping and he might not have an opinion of the exact shade of lilac your invitations should be. If he does? Well great. If he doesn’t, that’s completely understandable too.

So what can you do if you want to include him as part of your Bridal party? You’ve got two real options.

Include him as a gender neutral Honour Attendant

This is our favourite option. It means he can come to any of the pre-wedding events without anyone being surprised and he can stand with your Bridesmaids on the big day. It’s a perfect way to honour your friendship and there are some hidden benefits for you too! In the midst of all the female craziness, he might actually be able to provide a calming and mediating force. Not only that, but he can also offer you the male perspective. Look to him to explain why your gorgeous husband to be might not be as into the big decision of what wedding shoes you’re going to wear. Amongst other things of course.

One of the other things we’ve always seen when a gay BFF is included in your bridal party is the emotional involvement. Because a mixed gender bridal party is breaking with tradition, the fact you’ve still invited him means more. This can bring the two of you even closer together. After all, your wedding is going to be pretty exciting. Who wouldn’t want to be involved?

Ask your fiancé if he can be a Groomsman

If you don’t think the above would work, ask your fiance to include him as a groomsman. It means he’s involved the wedding fun, but it does give you a loophole and prevents any awkwardness from people who might not understand. For some people it might be hard to explain that to your grandmother or other elderly relatives.

To us, your husband to be including him as a Groomsman is like including your brother or you including his sister as bridesmaid. You are that close right? So we don’t think asking is crossing any lines.

If neither of these solutions are for you, remember you can always include him in other ways. Give him a special spot at the ceremony or seat him with your family. You could also give him something specific to do. What about he makes a speech at the reception or even handles a reading at the ceremony itself?

Oh and in case you were wondering? We believe that the above also goes for a male friend and also a best woman! It is 2014 after all.

Posted in Bridesmaids, Planning by wedded wonderland

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