A bride and her mother have been through so much together and with a relationship bonded by bothvthe good and the not so good memories, Whether it’s a critical remark or selfish comment, sometimes words can be more hurtful than intended.
Here are a few thoughts we think mums shouldavoid, as to not upset an already stressed bride.
Image: A Cross Cultural Wedding at Doltone House Photography by Alan Khan
A couple’s sex life is always a no-go zone, and when it comes to encouraging couples to have kids, you need to think before you speak, because you never know if a couple is in the midst of emotional fertility issues. We know mums are excited about the future, but our tip is to not concern yourself with the bride’s baby plans. When you catch up after the wedding, focus on the honeymoon and how she’s enjoying married life.
There are so many dresses in all the colours of the world, and your mum picks white!? We don’t think placing a ‘reserved’ sign could make it more obvious, so unless she’s planning on standing by your side at the altar, she needs to return the dress and pick a shade more appropriate for the event.
Oh heck no! Even after sending invitations, your mother might be a little clueless when it comes to numbers and dates. Questions like ‘What hotels are nearby?’, ‘What’s the venue’s address?’ and ‘What time does the ceremony begin?’. As a bride, you’ll definitely have things on your mind, and if a mother can’t remember your special day, try to answer the question without being abrupt. Learning to strategise a solution without feuding will create less stress!
Brides experience many things during childhood – breakups, divorce, constant bickering – and that’s just from the parents! When the mother of the bride says, ‘When I was your age’ or ‘Marriage is hard sometimes’, try to play it by ear – ‘in’ with one and ‘out’ the other. Giving advice is fine when it’s actual, constructive advice, but assuming all marriages will be exactly like yours isn’t. Younger generations need to learn the benefits and consequences of a relationship themselves – after all, that’s life.
Is she serious? On your wedding day, mother’s will always have an opinion, not to mention a critical eye about your wedding planning. ‘The flowers look wilted, and your food needs more flavour’ is a perfect example of butting in too much. As we understand, the mother of the bride will have nerves and a little excitement about her daughters big day, but sometimes it will get the best of her. Our advice? Don’t let them get to you. Ignore her criticisms and focus on the many good things about your wedding!
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