Bachie season graced us with its first episode last night and it’s all the trash-tv goodness we could ever ask for. With that curly hair and those Aussie larrikin one-liners, it really is a time to be alive… as a couch potato with Doritos every Wednesday and Thursday night.
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Admit it. You are so ready for the overdone plot lines, cheesy dialogue and 25 women who will average about 267 tantrums that mostly include hair-pulling, wine-throwing, rose-getting, tear-jerking, honey-badging kerfuffles. Here are 21 thoughts we had during the first episode of The Bachelor.
1.Sorry to the chick who brought a plane drinks trolley with her and was demoted to the montage
2.Does anyone know what a honey badger is?
3.Does anyone know what an energy healer is?
4.Wondering why no one used the pun ‘in the Nick of time’
5.The girl that says “I can’t believe I shaved my legs for this” is all of us
6.Britt saying she’s here for the buffet is also all of us
7.Did Dasha miss her morning workout?
8.Is Nick trying to signal for help to the producers with his eyes?
9.Brooke, did you really not know that he’s a sports player? We’re genuinely confused
10.If I had a dollar for every time someone said ‘journey’ or ‘connection’ I’d have enough money to buy that mansion AND a bachelor
11.Brittany, we all know where Port Macquarie is
12.I would seriously excel at that designated commentator role Alisha has on the show
13.What on earth made you think it was a good idea to jump into the pool?
14.Vanessa Sunshine, you are our spirit animal
15.This season should be called The Badgelor and his room should be called the Badge Pad
16.Cass, you’re not fine. You have stage 5 clingy-syndrome
17.*Imagines Cass writing in her dream diary*
18.Okay so it’s between Shannon and Brooke
19.Whenever I feel sad I’m going to remember the three girls who were kicked off the show from the first night
20.Three of you will leave the competition tonight, Nick can’t remember eight of your names, six of you need to get jobs and four of you need therapy
21.Whoever decided to air Mean Girls right after is a genius
Written by Shaymah Alkhair
