When it comes to planning a Wedding with your beau, it’s only natural that you’ll disagree on things, but when disagreements lead to arguments, it can cause extra stress on the relationship.
You need to be prepared for arguments in the lead up to the Wedding Day and pick your battles wisely (Marriage is all about compromise, Fairies); so to help you navigate the nasty niggles, we’ve put together the seven most common fights every couple has when planning their Wedding.
1. He Doesn’t Help With the Planning
This is easily the biggest argument that couples face when planning a Wedding. The Bride-to-Be feels like she’s responsible for all of the work and gets upset that her Groom isn’t interested in helping and doesn’t seem the care about the Wedding details. Instead of having a shouting match with your fiancé, we recommend finding Wedding planning tasks that he’ll be interested in and feel like he can contribute to – things like organising the cars, finding a DJ and going along to the menu tasting are always going to be winners.
2. Money, Money, Money
This is an argument that won’t just affect you while you’re Wedding planning, because it’s one of the most common disagreements that Married couples have too! It doesn’t matter whether you’re arguing over the cost of the Wedding gown, or you can’t agree on price of the venue, the key with this battle is to be prepared to compromise. Maybe you can get the dream Wedding gown you want if you sacrifice the expensive venue.
3. The Guest List
No matter how hard you try, you’ll always end up having more people on your guest list than you originally planned; however, if he keeps adding extras (like distant relatives, high school acquaintances and his entire football club), you might need to confront him – which can lead to an argument. The best way to deal with this dilemma is to agree on a ‘maximum number’ of invites; then, if he wants to add any extras, he must first remove someone from the list.
4. The Ex-Factor
Eek – you thought Wedding planning was going to be a breeze, until your fiancé on future mother-in-law mentions that they’ve added an ex-girlfriend or old flame to the guest list. This one is a tricky argument to navigate; but the best way forward is this; if you’ve met the ex-girlfriend before and are comfortable in her company, it’s probably best to suck it up and leave her on the guest list (especially if she’s a family friend of the in-laws). However, if you’ve never met her or you don’t get along, we think you can stand your ground with this one.
Image from Kelly and David’s Wedding. Photography by Yeesom Lo.
5. The Look
OK, so after you’ve had the fight about his lack of help in planning the Wedding, you may find that he becomes TOO hands-on and wants a say in everything from the centrepieces to the colour scheme. The trick to resolving this argument is to ‘PNC’ – that’s Prioritise, Negotiate and Compromise. These three steps are essential to working through disagreements and if you start implementing them early on in the relationship, it can help you for years to come.
6. The Bridal Party
Your Groom’s been best friends with this guy for years and now he wants to ask him to be the Best Man – only problem is you don’t get along. You’ve had one particular girlfriend since university and you really want her as a Bridesmaid – issue is, your fiancé hates her. What’s the solution? Before this becomes a source of conflict, figure out WHY you dislike them. For example, if it’s because you’re concerned they’ll drink too much and embarrass you, deal with this by asking your other-half to chat with them about limiting their alcohol intake.
7. The Prenup
Prenups have become more common than ever before, and although they’re a way to be prepared if something were to happen in your relationship, they’re also seen as seriously unromantic and a sign that the other party isn’t committed to the Marriage. If you’re not in agreement over a prenup, do not let it slide; this is an argument you need to have, because bottling up resentment will cause serious drama the longer you let it fester.
Main image from Natalia and Andrew’s Wedding. Photography by Evoke Photography.