We’ve all seen the movie ‘Bridesmaids’ (over and over again probably) and as entertaining as it is, there’s some truth there. If you don’t get your mix of bridesmaids right, the whole thing can turn into a disaster.

So let’s take it from the top, how many maids will you choose? The rule of thumb is to have one bridesmaid and one corresponding groomsmen. But, this doesn’t mean you have to ask the guy who makes your coffee every morning to be your groomsmen just to make up the numbers. Usually the more intimate the wedding, the fewer bridesmaids. The more guests, the more bridesmaids.

But it’s not as simple as trawling through your Instagram feed to see who will look hot in the dresses you decide on, or which of your girlfriends take the best selfies. Believe it or not, there are many important factors to consider.

So if you’ve got every best friend in mind since high school and ballet lessons, yet your partner has two sisters, then what do you do? It’s impossible to please everyone, but you should consider your fiancée’s family too. Even if haven’t grown up with you, they’re about to become your relatives and it’s a special day for them as well.

Some brides get so caught up in having an entourage of maids that they don’t think about the specific friends they’re picking. Sometimes, they will drift apart during the planning stage because the relationship just wasn’t that strong. In other cases, girls are only interested in the glitz and glamour of being a bridesmaid but don’t want to help you bring your ideas to life.

Think long and hard about which friends have truly been there for you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t see them often or speak to them every day on the phone. We’re talking about girls who will bounce down the aisle with a big smile on their face, because they’re genuinely happy and grateful to share in your joy. After all, there’s nothing worse than a bridesmaid who feels it’s her right to be there and walks around all day with a fake smile.

Another common issue is feeling pressured to include someone because you were in their wedding party. People grow apart, so including someone in your bridal party just because ‘you have to’ is a big no no.

Trust your instincts and choose the girls you know will support you. From creating your DIY engagement party invites to holding your dress over your head while you pee on the day, you need someone you trust. (The last one will happen, it has to be done and it’s just whether you and your bridesmaids will erase it from your memories after. Find someone who will be willing to.)

There’s also the cost factor to consider. More bridesmaids means more flowers, more shoes, more hair and make-up costs.

The next point is super important and not something all brides can see in front of them. As a bride, you might be so wrapped up in your bubble of eternal happiness that they can’t see the steam coming out of your friend’s ears. Jealousy is something that can overcome most girls when they feel insecure. The last thing you want is someone raining on your parade because their boyfriend has taken 10 years to pop the question and yours did it in six months. This is your time, so make sure you surround yourself with girls who will share in your happiness.

Another culprit to be wary of is the friend who is always seeking the spotlight. Your bridesmaids should bask in your beauty, not try to push their cleavage up even higher than yours or demand extra lashes.

And if after this, you still can’t make up your mind and are worried of upsetting your friends, we’ve got two last tips. Give the girls you don’t choose special tasks to help you or reserve a spot for them in the front row of the church. Both will help them feel included!