Proposing to someone is a nerve-wracking experience. Choosing to do it in a public space only makes it harder. Getting rejected, both publicly and privately, is a whole new level of horrible.

An unnamed woman in Lagos, Nigeria has experienced just that, with footage online showing her bending down on one knee in a crowded shopping centre and asking her boyfriend to marry her.

At first it’s unclear as to who she is proposing to as her reluctant boyfriend stands a short distance away but, as the camera lingers, it becomes clear that the proposal isn’t going to plan.

The man ponders the question for a short while, walking back and forth and looking exasperated, before going over to the woman, whispering something to her and then walking away.

The footage shows the heartbroken woman letting the moment sink in before she begins to cry as her friends try to comfort her and lead her away.

The footage, which was uploaded by Twitter user @EnekemGreg, has been viewed over 13,000 times. Enekem captioned the post:

Just Watched a video where a lady knelt down in the mall and proposed to her MAN, man stalled for some time then whispered something into her ear then ran away, Lady was still crying at the end of the video.

I know sometimes we date people we don’t wanna marry, but public turn down of proposal get as e be Can’t you accept the ring then later you guys break up in private? I have seen that before

A day after posting the video, Enekem revealed the reason why the proposal was rejected:

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!! I posted a video this morning of a lady that was turned down after proposing to a man in the mall According to New findings, THE MAN WAS ALREADY MARRIED! … Men are Scum Fc (sic) how far?

The video has inspired debate over whether it’s the man or woman’s job to propose, with some users arguing for and against the woman’s choice to propose.

@EstherEkagmail2 said, “Saw it too but can we African ladies leave our culture the way it’s and allow the men do their tin the way they have being doing it let him b the one asking u to marry him and not the other way round please.”

Others were more sympathetic, with user @ms_pkayy writing, “Do you realize the gravity of what he did? Like this is the height of public embarrassment. The lady here broke out of the normal societal norms to propose to her man only for him to take off like that. He should have at least accepted it in public then break up in private.”

See the full video below:

https://twitter.com/EnekemGreg/status/952803390920298497