A bridesmaid has a lot of duties. Some of them are fun – who doesn’t like trying on a lot of pretty dresses? Some of them are not fun – spoiler alert: you are going to have to help your friend pee on the day of her wedding. Some of them are confusing – organising the Hens night. And one of the most confusing parts? How much is just too much.

In the end, the right amount of money comes down to what is on offer. A Hens night in a seedy bar is one thing, a dinner in a fancy restaurant is another and a weekend getaway is something else completely. Consider how many people you think will be there and the sort of people they are. Yes, there is a time and a place for a stripper, but there are also many times and places that are not for a stripper. For many girls, particularly as we get a little older, the idea of a traditional Hens night is enough to make us clamour for excuses not to go. Think about what you would like to do, what the bride would like to do because in the end, money is relative. If your party days are long gone, perhaps that $100 would go better to renting a beach house for a relaxing weekend.

If you’re not sure about how much is too much, ask around. Many of your attendees will have been to other parties recently and they will be able to shed light on what a usual rate is in your circle. Your other bridesmaids may know too. Be realistic about this – if you have everyone pay a certain amount, make sure they get something for it. Don’t simply expect people to pay. They might do it for the bride, but they won’t be happy about it. If you’re charging for a dinner? Make sure a dinner is served! Consider how many people will actually go, not just the full list of people you’re inviting. This can have a serious effect on your budget.

Look at the event from the outside. If your oh so perfect hand wasn’t organising it, would you want to go? Would you think it was worth it? If you question that for more than ten seconds, it’s probably not a good option.

One last final tip? Collect the money in advance. Who carries cash these days? It also guarantees that your no shows won’t bump up the price for the rest of you!

Oh and guys? The same goes (but we’re pretty sure there will be a stripper no matter what).