“WE’RE GETTING MARRIED OVERSEAS – IS THIS SELFISH?”


Although it’s likely going to be the best day of your life, the situations you come across leading up to your wedding can be some of the most stressful. Unfortunately no matter how hard you try, it’s very likely that you won’t be able to please everyone with your decisions and sometimes it’s good to get an outsiders perspective.

That’s where Wedded Wonderland come in. Each week, we post a question from one of our real-life fairies and ask our community to help solve her dilemma.

This week’s question was:

“We’re living and getting married overseas, but can only afford to fly our parents over for the celebration – no friends or other family. Is this cruel?”

And we received an overwhelming amount of advice from our gorgeous fairies!

zanzoonk It’s not cruel at all!! Your wedding should be about you (the couple)! Weddings have slowly lost its true value, it’s not about bridesmaids, friends and partying, it’s about saying your vows and spending a great time with your man who you can finally call husband!

bebemclovia Think about you… That’s all that matters

saritavjodbwpg if you can afford to invite some of them (those closest to you and your fiancée), then it’s ok to invite them. We had a destination wedding and only paid for the accommodations of our parents; for ours guests, we manage to get a 40% discount from the hotel, but that was all. Also as courtesy we did not made a registry that had items over $150 because for us getting there was a present already. Some people couldn’t be there but we were happy to know that we share the moment with them just but giving them the invitation

janelleelaine Invite anyone you want and if they can come, great! If not, oh well, the only important person at your wedding will be your fiancé!

tinasarkissiann This is exactly what I’m going to do on my wedding!

fashionistaladies Yes, it is cruel, but choosing to be wedded in a faraway land is your choice. If you’re okay with it then that’s cool. Just don’t expect someone you invited and they did not come. If you can’t afford and so they can’t.

samzazz Not cruel at all!! If your friends expect you to pay for their flight there and back they are ridiculous I mean you’re paying for your wedding (dress, resort, food , your parents flights, etc) that’s already enough. It would be totally fine of a friend comes but did not bring a wedding gift. In my opinion that would be fine because they have already payed for their flight there. But usually if you’re a big group there should be group packages or discounts.

carebaro Anyone who thinks this is cruel has serious issues. A wedding is about the two people who are getting married, who cares about everyone else. If some can afford to come perfect, if not well too bad!

carol_kent21 Make a barbecue in each country instead of having an empty venue

kikelommo No. Not cruel

conamorrlet No.

_emmamoesgaard No. It’s your wedding, so you should do what you guys want to, and not what you think everyone else expects you to.

thatchickpenelope No….

really_happy_2b_me We kept our wedding a secret. Only my parents and 5 others were there. It was the most special day of my life. No drama only happiness. It also was REALLY a fun to announce that we had done it! It made the day exactly what it should be…about you and your husband.

kgoldi8 No way.

jenlaprincesse That idea sounds amazing ! (Not engaged or anything but I really think that’s so cool)

jenlaprincesse It’s not cruel because you’re not getting married for other people or to please them. If they want to come and can afford it then great but it’s definitely not cruel.

Siobhan-May L’Estrange Powers no it’s not cruel at all. Small and intimate ceremonies are amazing..

Karla Higham Your choice to live overseas.

Olivia Jae Berghoef If these other people want to be part of your special day, they’ll pay for their own flights.

Sarah Hannant Agreed! People who want to be there will make an effort… not matter the cost!

Zukdekea Kerr Not cruel at all!

Shelly Vernon At least have the people who brought you into the world there. Anyone else is up to you…

Tammy East No not at all because they are the ones who love you the most.

Ariel Matheson Nope not at all. I would ask in replacement of gifts that friends fly over. This is actually my plan. I will however be hiring a castle (for the wedding) over a period of a week as well as a cute manor home so everyone can stay. All i ask is that they pay their own airfares. Which really isnt that expensive when you dont have to buy gifts and you get accommodation free  ( When i finally get proposed to anyway  )

Megan Maxfield We did it and (how do I emphasise this enough?) COULD NOT HAVE BEEN HAPPIER!!! Seriously, it was relaxed, intimate, fun and stress free. Best idea ever!

Nicole Lawson Not cruel at all, whoever can be there will be there and you shouldn’t feel guilty for the way you’ve planned your day.

Vicki Brady Not at all. My husband and are are Scottish and Irish, we live in Australia and got married in vanuatu. We only offered to fly my parents for the wedding and when they declined, we confirmed that we wouldn’t invite family at all. We had an intimate wedding with only friends. We will return to Europe at some point yo have a celebration with our friends and family over there who couldn’t come. It’s your wedding, your rules. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise should get an instant red line through their name on the invite.

Hanady Barjel Daghel Not at all. Do what makes you happy. A successful marriage is where you always put your partner before anyone else. Congrats, enjoy every moment

Sarah McHugh not at all its your wedding as long as your happy only having your parents there its fine

The Occasional Speaker Not at all. True friends are just that – true friends. Why not host a small low key event to celebrate with friends. Keep it simple with no expectations

Posted in Expert Advice, Planning, Uncategorized by wedded wonderland


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