It’s that time again! We’ve met the 22 girls vying for Richie’s heart, said good-bye to three and now it’s just a battle ’til the death end for the remaining 19.

We start this episode off with a solo date card! After four minutes of ‘filler’ (aka girls squealing in delight), we find out that the blonde girl from the outback, Nikki, is leaving the mansion for a whole day of gazing into Bachie’s dreamy blue eyes and rubbing his rock hard abs…

We are reminded that Nikki is a WA-native (like Bachie Richie), before she leaves the mansion in a helicopter, cementing the fact that Channel 10 have unlocked some serious cashola to fund this season.


While most of the contestants cheered Nikki on, Keira (our villainess) made it clear that she wasn’t happy about the situation, “Obviously cheering on a girl who’s going on a date with a guy that you’re supposed to be dating… It’s not natural.”

While Keira was stewing, Nikki and Richie flew off to find a private beach to make-out have a serious and heartfelt conversation.

Nikki and Richie shared the first kiss of the season after a few glasses of champagne before the subject of past relationships is brought up (aka every girl’s nightmare). Nikki shares that she was with her ex for 12 years before they broke up just over a year ago.

“Heartbreak. Yes. We, um, we were engaged, but i knew it wasn’t going to be forever. So, we split up six months before the Wedding.”

Richie didn’t seem at all concerned about being having a potenial rebound relationship with Nikki and automatically hands her the goods (a red rose).

Back at the mansion, it’s time for a group date!

Generally the first group date is a photoshoot, but we know that this year, Channel 10 is really keen to shake things up (umm. white rose, anyone!?), so we wouldn’t be surprised if they took the girls on a surprise trip to a resort in the South Pacific and gave them a new car and set of steak knives… never mind, it’s another photoshoot.

Turns out, the girls are stepping back in time to an era when feminism was dead and men had all the power – the 1950s! (Let’s be honest, they’ve been practising this era for the last two episodes, so it’s not that much of a stretch.)

The girls fight over time spent with Richie, Keira’s annoyed there’s 19 other contestants (can someone tell her this is not a Tinder date, it’s a reality show called ‘The Bachelor’) and Eliza does some strange white-girl dance that involves salsa, twerking and dry-humping Richie (who looks seriously concerned for his own well-being).

After the group date, Olena the supermodel is whisked off on Richie’s motorbike (not, that’s not a euphemism) and taken to the Bachie house for a spa. While we’re questioning whether this is an appropriate first date location (what happened to having a modest coffee in ‘neutral territory’?), Olena gets in a bikini and it’s all over. Just give her the rose already, the girl is like the real life version of Khaleesi, but without any dragons.

Richie tells her he wants to show her his bedroom, before presenting with her a dress that looks suspiciously like lingerie and sending her home with a rose.

Then, the cocktail party starts.

Alex, the poet mum, pulls out her white rose so she can get some uninterrupted time with Richie in a private dungeon room. Needless to say, Keira is not happy.

Alex returns from the dungeon room and Keira tells her she shouldn’t have had private time with Bachie because, ‘it wasn’t fair’. Alex isn’t having a bar of it and tells Keira that she’ll sleep ‘just fine’ with her decision to pull Richie away. With loads of dramatic music playing in the background, Channel 10 has almost convinced us that this was a ‘serious argument’.


Two girls we haven’t seen before are kicked off and we try and feel sorry for them, but we still don’t know their name.

‘Til next time…




Posted in Celebrity, Culture by wedded wonderland

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