It’s a dilemma that almost every modern-day bride has to face. Should there be men at the bridal shower? And when we ask the question, we don’t necessarily mean your groom or your father, because OBVIOUSLY these lovely gents would put a damper on the girl talk. We mean male mates and gay BFFs – are they allowed, or is it still taboo?
There are two sides to every argument, so we consulted two wedding experts to get their thoughts.
Fiona Deans-Dundas, Couture Wedding Planning
Traditionally, only women attend a bridal shower and because it’s an event steeped in tradition, it would make sense that only women should attend.The Bridal shower is a wonderful tradition helping the bride transit into her new role as wife and setting up her new household.
I feel that if men are present at the bridal shower, it might change the dynamics of the day and what could’ve been a time to chat about ‘girly’ topics like wedding plans, babies and the wedding night turns into forced blasé conversation about gender neutral things. The bridal shower should be about the bride getting advice and insight from more experienced women that she is close with and I think this passing down of information should be kept sacred.
If the bride does have a close male friend or brother that may feel left when not invited, I would suggest that the bride arrange a separate lunch or dinner date, so that they feel more involved.
I have not attended a bridal shower or planned a bridal shower where a male was present. It’s always been a ‘girls-only’ event. When styling a bridal shower, I’m normally asked to create a very feminine event with lots of flowers and girly colours. We serve dainty foods like finger-cut sandwiches, scones and petite cakes to appeal to the guests. I think it’s important for women to embrace tradition and their femininity and the bridal shower is the perfect time to do this. Let’s keep this wonderful celebration of women alive!
Wendy Daoud El-Khoury, Wedded Wonderland
Once upon a time, I had a bridal shower, and many of my friends missed out. Not because I wanted them to, but because they weren’t invited. Why? Because apparently the Bridal Showers and Kitchen Teas are not for boys. Well not anymore! I am advocating the male/female bridal showers from now until forever more.
If women aren’t the only ones confined (ha!) to the kitchen, why should the party be just for them? I guarantee if you head into any Myer or David Jones on a Saturday you will witness a couple walking around shooting a laser at pots and pans. What is the point of the kitchen tea after all? It is preparing the couple with household goods in essence.
The bridal shower is about showering the bride with gifts and this can get a fun, flirty and festive; however wouldn’t it be great to have a little male interaction for the single ladies anyway? Brides-to-be shouldn’t be selfish when it comes to love – share it around! If you’ve got a male best friend who would be comfortable with the bridal shower and what it entails (hours of conversation, make-up and hair talk, sharing photos of nephews and nieces and nibbling on pastries), then I don’t see why they shouldn’t be able to join in the fun. I’m all about equal rights for all wedding enthusiasts!