IS IT NORMAL TO FIGHT IN THE LEAD UP TO YOUR WEDDING?


Your wedding is a magical affair and the perfect celebration of the love you have for your husband to be. Your dress is breath taking and your venue sublime.

But what happens if you reach a month before the wedding and you suddenly can’t stand the sight of your fiance? Every good trait you thought he had appears to have vanished and you’re left wondering why you’re marrying him in the first place.

We have some good news for you.

This has happened to nearly every soon to be married couple. Ever.

The even better news? It’s only temporary.

Planning a wedding is stressful. Your wedding is probably the single most expensive day in your life and without a doubt one of the most meaningful. And when there is pressure? There is the risk of things being blown out of proportion, feelings being hurt and a lot of misunderstandings. As much as we’d love to say the whole world stopped when you were in the middle of planning a wedding, that’s not the case. You will have your normal every day stresses and then, you will have all your wedding stresses. You’re going to worry about a budget, your families’ expectations about the event and on top of that? You’re going to have those very normal nerves about how much your life is going to change. We’re talking high stakes emotions here!

Whether you’re fighting about the colour of his tie or the fact he forgot to buy milk, take a deep breath and remember that this is natural. You do still love him as much as you did and he still loves you that much too. Don’t worry that you’ve somehow lost everything that made you the awesome couple that you are. You haven’t.

Instead, when you’re taking that deep breath, consider what might be making you fight. You know, the things you’re really thinking about when you get angry at his channel surfing. Is it possible that just maybe you’ve got a thousand other things on your mind and you’ve latched onto whatever is right in front of you? If you’re completely honest with yourself (and us!) we think there’s a good chance that’s the case. Try and concentrate on that and don’t lash out. He might not be showing those wedding nerves as much as you, but he’s feeling them.

If you can, take some time away from the wedding. Just a day when the whole topic is banned. If you have to, start your own Wedding Swear jar for a day. Remember what it was like when you first met and you couldn’t wait for his every text message. Dress up and go on a date or just spend the time cuddling on the couch, it doesn’t matter. The point is to remind yourself of all the good in him and all the good between the two of you. If you can’t bring yourself to do this, count to five in your head whenever anything he does annoys you. It will give you just those seconds to consider if the argument you’re about to have is worth it. Remember to do this even more if you feel as though he’s picking a fight with you. This may be the difference between finishing the conversation like mature adults and screaming (again.)

Now, we do need to make a note here. Some of the fights you could have in the lead up to your wedding are the serious ones. If you’re fighting about your relationship? This is a different issue. Those fundamental fights you need to pay attention to. For example, if you have an ongoing issue with your mother in law that has you wanting to avoid all family affairs, this needs to be resolved. If you have a fight with your mother in law about the exact cake for your wedding, take a step back. These fights are the ones that can undermine your relationship if you don’t deal with them now. If you find that you’re not on the same page about the issues that matter to you? Speak to your partner about them and work together to find common ground. Don’t drag them into your marriage. Use your engagement to resolve them instead.

You’ll be laughing about all those silly fights soon, we promise!

Posted in Expert Advice, Planning, Pre-wedding by wedded wonderland


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