So, you’ve made a mistake. Your third cousin twice removed is not the perfect bridesmaid. In fact, she might even have something against your beautiful DIY invitations. You’ve tried smiling brightly at her and keeping up that positive attitude, but nothing has changed.

The time has come. She has to go. But what do you do?

  1. Talk to her. If you’ve picked her to be your bridesmaid, you’ve done it for a reason. Try to remember that, no matter how frustrated you are. Ask her what is going on and really listen. She might have a reason why she doesn’t like your DIY invitations after all. She might not want to tell you that she’s having a hard time at work or in her personal life in case she brings you down. Give her the benefit of the doubt and agree to disagree if you can.
  2. Try and limit what she needs to do. If you know there’s no turning back and you can trust another bridesmaid, ask for her help. Perhaps she would be the perfect person to organise the Hens night or to give an honest opinion at your dress fittings. It’s a bit of a cheat option, but it might let you be a married woman with one more friend!
  3. If it’s too far gone, be honest. Don’t beat around the bush and tell her it’s not you, it’s me. Be honest and open with her. Take responsibility for your part in any conflict. Explain how what she’s doing is impacting on you and why this means she is no longer needed for bridesmaid duties. It won’t be an easy conversation, but it’s better than the alternative.
  4. Be prepared for what happens next. The best case scenario is that your friendship continues on just like it always did and you can return to your wedding planning. The worst case is she thinks you’re a selfish bridezilla and wants nothing to do with you or your wedding.

Unfortunately, when it comes to any kind of dumping, someone is going to get hurt. The best thing to do? If you’re not sure about someone being a bridesmaid, don’t ask them to begin with. Your bridesmaids should be genuinely happy for you and they should be there every step of the way. If you find yourself wondering that a certain friend might not be, then it’s probably a good sign you shouldn’t ask. When it comes to relatives, consider asking only your close friends or a single relative as your matron of honour.

Good luck!

Posted in Bridesmaids, Planning by wedded wonderland

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