Experts have long said that the two biggest issues in a marriage are money and sex; and although in traditional vows, the bride and groom cover off the money side of things with ‘for richer or poorer’, the issue of sex stays firmly under the covers.
Enter sex contracts.
These nifty little documents are drawn up by husbands and wives to outline the minimum amount of sex they have per week. My first thought was –isn’t this taking out all the romance? However, relationship experts swear by them.
You see, not everyone has the same sex drive. Some could do it multiple times a day and others would be happy with once a week, so the idea behind a sex contract is that couples negotiate what works best for them. The aim is to ensure that both parties’ needs are met.
Sexuality is a huge part of any husband/wife relationship, so much so that some forward-thinking brides and grooms are including it as part of their wedding vows. However, if you think that adding a line into your ceremony vows like, ‘I promise to keep your nookie needs a priority in times of dry spells, raising toddlers and menopause’ might give Great Grandma Gertrude a heart-attack, a sex contract could be your answer.
Drawing up a contract with your better-half means that you’re both communicating openly about your needs and unlike other signed documents, it is by no means binding – it’s more about understanding the other party, so that you can both strive to make each other happy.
When discussing a sex contract, it’s important to acknowledge what you both consider a ‘quality’ sexual encounter (because speed isn’t always an asset when it comes to the bedroom). The next stage is to talk about the minimum amount of times you are both comfortable making love each week. Once you’ve agreed on these two things, you should also commit to regular date nights, to help keep the romance and excitement alive.
Finally, don’t be afraid to renegotiate the contract. We all have days (weeks, months!) when life gets tough and circumstances change, but the key is to be honest and open with your hubby. If you ever need some extra help feeling sexy, I strongly recommend a pair of Jimmy Choos, a visit to the hairdresser and a bottle of Chandon.
