When we say people come from all walks of life, we think of meeting a couple of narcissists, some introverts, a really angry boss and the love of our life. Then there’s an alternate universe that nurtures another type of species – Mama’s Boys.
Are you the third-wheel when your man is hanging out with his mum? Is she still cutting his chicken nuggets into dinosaur shapes? Buying his favourite custard from the convenience store? Warms his milk before bed? Sometimes these (unnatural) mother-son bonds are unbreakable, and it’s time you cut the umbilical cord (if you find the chance between all her phone calls).
Here are 7 signs you’re dealing with a total mama’s boy.
1. He Could Not Survive Alone For One Minute
We’re pretty sure he still lives with mummy. He definitely wouldn’t survive in his own place if she didn’t check on him everyday and deliver his regular meals. ‘Do your own laundry and dishes’ is foreign language and we’re confident his culinary skills stop at toasted cheese or something. Mum cleans the waterworks that is his shower aftermath and most likely supplies a majority of his spending money. Yep, no life skills because mother masters them on his behalf (or so she believes).
2. They Talk More Than You Do As A Couple
Well, he sends her updates on where he is at all times of the day. When you guys are on dates, her phone calls are not uncommon and she is in the know about every detail of his life. Also, he runs all his decisions by her, even when you think it’s just between the two of you. If you gave him the chance, you guys would be living with his parents anyway. We’re guessing if he’s ever gifted you anything, the ideas were all run by his mum.
3. She Goes To Appointments With Him
Yep, we didn’t know this one was true either, but it is. As if he wasn’t baby enough, she joins him at his appointments and lord help you if they’re medical. He doesn’t know any of the required details and all his important paperwork is with mother dearest. You have nightmares where he can’t swallow tablets and she’s got one of those orange Nurofen syringes in his mouth instead.
4. She’s The Standard
Look like her, talk like her, cook like her, dress like her, laugh like her, clean up after him like her. That’ll make you the perfect partner in his eyes, because the only relationship he can relate to is the one his parents are used to from 1977. We’re 98% sure he’s told you his ideal wife is in the image of his oh-so-beloved mother. Speaking of standards, she might not have any because she shows up unannounced all the time too.
5. No One Is Good Enough For Her Son
Let’s go back to the one that started this whole thing in the first place. Okay, all mothers have a natural tendency to be biased towards their children (ours think we’re the prettiest, smartest angels to ever walk this earth). But, she’s another level. She thinks your desire to open up her childish son to the real world is an attempt to threaten her precious method of child-bearing. Plus, she doesn’t care what aspirations you have. Your job is to not disrupt the spoiled life her precious son is so used to.
6. He Is A Baby In A Man’s Body
His mum pities him for any mishaps in his life. He’s overly sensitive and quite immature when you try to give him any ‘constructive criticism’. And he probably misses his mum more than a newborn when she travels. If you said yes to more than one sentence of this article, it’s best you let go of that monster-in-law and her 27-year-old toddler.
Written By Shaymah Alkhair