We go on and on about how to avoid arguments and resolve disagreements, but did you know there are some fights you need to have with your ‘other-half’ before you tie the knot?
Disagreeing with your beau isn’t necessarily a negative thing; it’s all about learning to compromise and fighting fairly – listening and respecting each other’s opinions.
So, before you walk down the aisle and recite your vows, grab your fiancé, have a glass of wine and get ready to battle your way to a treaty on these five essential topics.
It doesn’t matter how similar you and your partner are, you will always come across times when you disagree over the financials. Whether your partner is spending too much eating takeaway lunches at the office, or whether your shoe-addiction has gotten a little out of hand, leaving it unresolved can cause built-up resentment.
Make a time to discuss your financial goals with your partner and list out your priorities when it comes to spending money (ie. do you spend a lot of cash on food, clothing, activities or savings?). Talk about what is most important to you when it comes to your spending and why and then agree to work together on a financial goal (like saving for a holiday, or a Wedding)!
2. Family and Friends
You’ll probably have different opinions when it comes to spending time with each other’s family and friends, so make sure you talk through your expectations. You might want to see your parents every week, while he might be prefer to schedule in a monthly visit. Compromise and make a plan that will keep you, your beau, your friends and your families happy.
No couple will have exactly the same needs when it comes to intimacy and sex. Try and recognise what you need to ‘get you in the mood’ and bear in mind it’s not always foreplay, it could be things like words of affection or assistance around the house.
Don’t underestimate the importance of understanding what you and your partner need when it comes to intimacy, as it’s such an integral part of a Marriage.
People express their love in different ways, called ‘The Five Love Languages’; some of us use ‘words of affirmation’, others use ‘acts of service’, some express it through ‘gifts’ and others use ‘touch’ or ‘quality time’. You and your partner will probably disagree on which of these ‘love languages’ is most important, but once you know how he expresses his love, you can try and replicate this love language for him – and he can do the same for your ‘love language’. If he values quality time, whereas you value words of affirmation, you can try and spend more time with him, while he can focus on telling you how he feels about you.
5. Home Life
Agreeing on who does what around the home is important, especially if both of you are working full-time! Discuss what you expect from your partner in terms of cooking, cleaning and general household maintenance and come to an agreement that is fair and makes both of you happy.
Images from Elaine and Christopher’s Wedding. Photography by Phao Photography.